Saturday, March 10, 2007
I am a kite, lost in the sky... - 11:44 AM
Nowadaes, motivation to go to work is waning and sometimes I have to pull myself out of bed. Even if I had my breakfast, I would choose to go back to lie on the bed. Not that I have been sleeping later, I just don't want to get on the journey to work. Back to home, the 1 hour MRT ride back home is getting longer, so long that when I reach Jurong east, I get so agitated. The last 3 stops is so hard to bear... So much so I choose to sleep everytime I get on the train when I go to work everydae. If only I can sleep as well on my way back.What has driven me to this state, I seriously do not know. I may be underpaid, but what help can I bring to salvage the situation except giving my resignation letter. My boss is so temperamental, but she is not that bad sometimes when she is in a good mood. My colleagues are nice, but how long will they stay here? My job is comfortable and brainless, but will I fall to sleep working one day? You look everywhere, and everywhere is offering better pay, nice job scope, challeging future. Greener grass on the other side is everywhere. But is it really that green? Challenging equals stress. Higher pay equal longer hours? My friend say higher pay goes to compensate your health. So is it all worth it? If I move, will I get terrible back stabbing colleagues? Not that I do not have now, hahaha. Will I get a even more terrible boss who do not appreciate me at all. I confess I am afraid to move, to try. I am too comfortable, I have lost the ability to survive out there, so much so I am angry with myself, to lose the will to try and fight at such a young age into my career.
To stay this way for the rest of my life, I may be able to do it. But do I want it? Or rather can I change my life? Or should I. I am confuse, I am angry. I am a kite, lost in the sky. If I am let loose, I lose my direction. If I am held tight, I might break one day. Life is not easy I know, for life is no picnic. It can be a stroll in the park, it can be a exciting trek in the jungle. Its just a matter of choice. No risk no gain, everything comes at a price. It just happen to be what you want in the end, or rather what you want now. I will take time to think what I really want. For those at the crossroads, take heed to stop where you are and think for a while. But don't fret bout your decision. Though in life you cant turn back, you can always take a slightly longer road to reach where you want to go.
To all, pursue what you want, pursue your dreams.