Sunday, September 23, 2007
I been infected with a sickness called "I am to lazy to blog" flu. I seek to remember why I started to blog: I write cause I like some of my nice friends out there to know whats going on in my life. Sometimes the blog becomes a platform to satisfy my spiritual needs and allow me to say things that is circling in my head when I can't shout it out as and when I want. I watched a programme on blogging and it says blogging has many reasons, motivation and uses. Some used it to make money, some treat it as a platform to let people around him or her to know what is destroying their lives, or what is making their life become a bed of roses(I can't see how comfortable that can be with the torn sticking around). What it certainly has not become is that it is not an online diary. A diary is probably something you do no not want people to read. A blog is probably something you want people to read.
However as I scan through my recent entries, most of it ain't even worth reading (which I apologise to those who read my blabbering). I am too lazy to think or write. All I do is complain. I wanted to change, but the inertia is too great for me to change with just a snap of the fingers.
But as I look back to the past 2 weeks, I haven't been feeling too down or depressed from work. I consoled a friend, in fact many friends, all due to different reasons. Sometimes I wonder why I am so good at listening to others and solving their problems, I sucked at my own. I guess it has to do with the fact that fortune tellers cannot tell their own fortune, a person can't solve its own problems. Been retreating into the deep mountains lately and indulge into some teachings of the Buddha.
We have no time to keep worrying bout this or that. Worrying cannot solve problems, neither can regret. One can only look forward in life, and take a minute to look at the past to not commit the same mistake twice. Learn to let go as life is too short to keep harping about what has happened. You cannot fault others for what wrongs they did, but you have control over yourself not to commit the same. Simplicity is happiness without complexity, and when you have less attachments and craving in this world, you will lead a simple and very happy life without all those complexities and problems.
Woah I am impressed with myself. I wrote all those thoughts myself after reading different books of teachings(ok ok, only 2 books, I am no saint). Haha. Saying is easy, following is another. I do not have problems now, but I have landed myself into some complex questions that I have no answers to. Had I not raise certain questions or did certain things, I would not have been so vexed. Lets hope the answers find its way to my heart. Maybe chanting will help... Just maybe...
Monday, September 03, 2007
Happy things! - 12:03 AM
Been trying very hard not to post entries bout complains and moan bout work, thus the lack of entries. Well todae is full of happy things.First I bought a new organizer! ??? Hahah ya, I have a craze for them, and I like to change one everyone now and then. Maybe deep down I just like to be organised. But theres a problem with me, I like to keep them and do not really get to use them. I write a few pages with enthusiasm, but soon I have nothing to fill them up. Only 2 reasons, I have no friends - thus no dates. I am lazy to write them down. Hope this time round its gonna be different, just like when I first started to write diaries. Used to start one and close it in 2 weeks, only to start another. But ever since one incident, my diaries never stopped, and it even moved to the online expressway, thus rather personal stuff do get written up here.
Another happy thing is I got a Happy card and Happy CD from Gis. It was really nice of her, really appreciate it alot alot!
Went to Candy house and have a big feast, all cooked by her. Hard work and never easy. Had to wash the dishes, but it was kinda fun! Afterwhich we source for a trip to Macau and HK, but most probably I cant go. Poor me. No more holidaes for me till next April. Must ask boss if I can go, so restrictive, I dun like!
Also went to watch the local play "If there're seasons." Its really nice. Well some of you may compare to Phantom or other world class musicals and not like it, but this one touches me, inspires me and gives me a feeling of home. Besides its all Liang Wen Fu's songs, so nice, so nice.
Below is what I felt from the play:
If you found love, do you face love bravely, or see her from a distance?
If lost love came back to you again, will it ever be the same?
Do you just be another someone who once lived, or be anyone who lived a fruitful life?
You search around for your goals, only to come back full circle to where you started.
Just like the four seasons, they come and go, they never change.
And you are still you.
And below is the poem you guys be looking for!
anyone lived in a pretty how town
(with up so floating many bells down)
spring summer autumn winter
he sang his didn’t he danced his did
Women and men(both little and small)
cared for anyone not at all
they sowed their isn’t they reaped their same
sun moon stars rain
children guessed(but only a few
and down they forgot as up they grew
autumn winter spring summer)
that noone loved him more by more
when by now and tree by leaf
she laughed his joy she cried his grief
bird by snow and stir by still
anyone’s any was all to her
someones married their everyones
laughed their cryings and did their dance
(sleep wake hope and then)they
said their nevers they slept their dream
stars rain sun moon
(and only the snow can begin to explain
how children are apt to forget to remember
with up so floating many bells down)
one day anyone died i guess
(and noone stooped to kiss his face)
busy folk buried them side by side
little by little and was by was
all by all and deep by deep
and more by more they dream their sleep
noone and anyone earth by april
wish by spirit and if by yes.
Women and men(both dong and ding)
summer autumn winter spring
reaped their sowing and went their came
sun moon stars rain