Sunday, June 29, 2008
Went to Sentosa Today, with the thought of catching the "song by the sea", the new "Musical fountain" show. Obviously it shouldn't be called that anymore, as the venue ain't held at the fountain anymore. Well it was kinda disappointing as half way through the show, it rained pretty heavily and everyone had to hit for the shelter, missing the show. Wonder why cant they build a roof over the seats. Pretty weird as Singapore rains almost half the time. I can always go back, but what bout those tourist that came? Perhaps STB might wana think bout it. Oh but I must add that the sky ride and the kart ride down those slopes were really fun. But I guess I should blog about what I want do before I digress further.
Had a chance to shop or rather walk around in Vivo after the trip to Sentosa. Been having these alone moments lately, eating alone as such. It got me the chance to think. What have I achieve all my 27 years of life? Almost nothing. I have been living the life what my parents want, what the society expect. Go to a good school, do as well as you can, then go Uni, then find a job as good as you can, which pays you well. I am not blaming anyone for living the life I am leading now. To be honest, I would not know what I want or how else different a life I would be living had I really had a choice. Problem is, I never really though bout what I want in life, in a job. What is a good job? What matters? The pay? The colleagues and boss? The prospect or the sense of achievement? That is why my job decision or career path has always been a mess. Such a mess I choose not to think about it and be "happy" the way I am. Seem to carry the mentality, if it ain't broken, dun fix it. With these clouds of doubt constantly floating around my head, dun even bother to ask me what I wish to want with my life. Without aims, probably that's why none my girlfriend found that as a quality in me. Though I am forever thinking too much, I never thought for myself, while always thinking for others. Can't change that habit, or probably I do not wish to change.
A lot of times, people passes judgment onto the people around them, and I must admit to such crimes before I point my fingers at others. I witness alot of foreign workers around my estate. They like to wear long sleeve shirt, in a hot sun, sit on the grass patch having picnics, or fish by the canal. People say they are crazy, to wear such clothes and sit in a barren piece of grass under the hot sun. But hey, if they enjoy what they are doing, who are we to judge them? When I laid on the grass patch in Sydney, did anyone laughed at me? Just because its more accepted somewhere else, surely it does not make it anymore worse here. Under circumstances ruling by society, unfortunately there will always be the norms and the weirds. And sometimes falling on the weird side makes you happy, for that makes you special. It makes sense isn't it? The whole world may say you are silly, but I am sure you can still turn around and smile at them. I for one, love to run in the rain instead of carrying an umbrella.
It been a long time since I sat down and think, and write something like this close to my heart. Perhaps its nice to reflect on oneself once in a while, and not to lose yourself in the buzz of chasing for things like money. Happiness have to be always kept close to your heart. True happiness. Going to Toy R Us and looking at old toys that I used to play made me realize what kept me happy as a kid. And that simple rule was just to keep doing things YOU want. Just you, not anyone else. Smile my friends, stay happy!