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Saturday, August 30, 2008
Which is more pitiful? A person who have lived alone by himself, waiting only for the right one to come along, or a person who is afraid of being lonely and constantly find someone to be in love with. There is no answer to this question for I guess it does not make any difference. Each is happy in their own decision, each in their own belief.
One may laugh at the notion that there is no right one, or worse, THE ONE. There should be plenty out there, and you only have to constantly try and find the one that suits you MOST. Its a question of comparison between which one, not a question of finding the right one, or the special one. What happens when the one intended for you all your life met with an accident and dies off before you 2 even got the chance to meet? Do you remain alone all your life? To love and lost (even if it isn't your true love) is better than than not to love at all. but is that love?
From the other point of view, being with someone that you do not think is THE ONE is just a lousy solution out of loneliness. These people rather be alone then spend their time searching in the crowd. They believe that special one will chance upon them, and the moment their eyes met, they will fall in love with each other forever. Love at first sight, hardly a notion nowdaes, which alot out there will think it belongs more to a fairy tale book.
So should one believe in fate? I remember watching shows where they say each one of us have another better half, somewhere out in this world. We are meant to be together, complement in some ways, alike in others. Unfortunately in the world I live in today, fate hardly plays a part. Love is rather an act of own volition, the choice to choose who you fall in love with. Most of us just choose someone due to her qualities or due to some external factors, rather of letting the feeling flow, and it just happens. There is no reason why you like someone, except for that fact that you love him. Not because he is cute, he is rich, he is kind not funny. For if one day should he loses these qualities, you will no longer love him?
I am one who thinks that true love do exists, and that there is indeed a special one out there. Haha before I sound like a hopeless romantic, I must say that despite my belief, I have to bow down to reality at times, and alot in the past. I am not a love saint, and I have made countless mistakes in the past. So much so I sometimes do not know what to believe in anymore. Everything about love becomes a facade, and you lose hope in it. But despite all these, I hope I can still find the courage to believe in it when it happens. And I do hope the next time I do fall in love, I will not look at her qualities, her looks or for any other reason; except for the fact that she gives me warmth when I touch her, make me alive when she smiles at me and that very simple reason - the feeling that flows through us called love...
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Record Timing - left office at eleven. Worst day of my life.
But haha life goes on.
We turn your dreams into reality. Only way to achieve that? You dun sleep. Then there will be no dreams. Everything you do can only be a reality.
Citi never sleeps...
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Problems problems problems... It seems its not going well for things at home nor at office. Lots of pressure, lots of problems. But as life goes on, we learn to handle such things. Look at not the misery but the beauty that remains... The more we focus on the problems, the worse the situation will get. Relax and solve them one by one, and soon the others will go away.

To a dear special help in office:
I know its not easy and I always appreciate the help you render to me. Work is piling up but I will try to be there to share the burden with you. Do not put undue stress on yourself as I will still be keeping an eye on the work. I will not let go of corp action. In fact do not even think you are slow. Its because the process has grown alot (Now we look at no action items, we fill up checklist and we reconcile holdings more often). After my project I will look at it again and revamp it further and soon happy days will follow. Please hang on for the the next month! Sorry! Always remember to smile!

Now serious things aside, lets think bout something else. I heard that there is this famous person who sort lost her memory as she grew old. So as and when, her kids will have to tell her that their father or her husband has passed away. Everytime she heard it she will be sad again and again. This process repeats as she regain her memory and to lose them again. This real life story kinda relates to what happended in the Notebook, or to some 50 first dates. I watched both movies, and it is very sad to lose the memory of your love ones. And for it to repeat everyday, I guess it hurts everyone around you as well. And I admire those who chose to stick by them no matter what. Recent Korean show on Channel U also narrates bout a girl who lost her memory. That one is kinda sweet in the end but disheartening in the process.
Bottom line is... losing your memory sucks, even if its losing the lousy ones.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Another week has passed and I am still standing still in my life. Can't find the energy to do something different, waiting for that day perhaps. My brain is pretty dead, even till one stupid idiotic driver drove up the curb towards me, I was just standing there thinking what happened. Crossing the road recently is pretty damn dangerous too, I have so many people asking me to be careful. What's gone into me, I do not know in particular. Not moody, just tired?
Handling projects and daily work is giving me quite a lot of pressure. Just can't find the perfect balance or give enough attention to either. Learn along the way. I think I am giving myself to much pressure again, taking on the world's responsibility onto me again.
Well few things I would like to make comments on.

1. Think its kinda stupid to increase one month of maternity leave. One month ain't going to make a difference. Those who wanted to give birth will do so, those who do not want to will not do so even if you add 2-3 months. Its true you will push those at the border, but how many are there? It just make those who is giving birth more benefit, and putting pressure and extra burden on those who have to cover their work. Haha but if its someone you do not like at work then we can all work towards persuading them to give birth. Come on, 3 ain't enough. 4 maybe? More money, more leave. Think you can do it. Go for a girl this time ya?

2. My brother is in the Navy now. Goodness... They ask him to come back buy sunblock lotion as this week training will be out in the sun a lot. When do Singapore Army become so gu niang. still say must buy spf 50 at least. Wah biang. I can only say times have changed.

3.I phone craze is too much. Its an outdated phone by over a year now. 2 mega pixel, cant say it is a camera phone. ya it looks good, touchy but so....? Lots of phone out there like that. Well but all the I products simple make people's hearts flutter dun they? Somehow, love at first sight. Well Love is BLIND. That explains alot.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
End of a short break, do not what to expect when I get back to work tomorrow. Well at dinner time, some whirlwind of emotion overcame me and I suddenly felt glad to be going back to work. Haha wonder what's wrong with me. I am sure I will not be feeling that way during lunch tomorrow. Will I? I wonder....
Anyway last Friday wasn't fantastic for me. Got told off that I should be more careful. How can a person be careful over something that need not be done for the past 3 years? When its the first time its happening. It’s not being careful if it is happening out of the blue, when the only difference is 1 line out of the many congested lines. Doing a good job everyday isn’t good enough. It’s like a job of a bodyguard. Everyday you guard your master and nothing goes wrong, you are not rewarded. But one day people attack out of the blue and he got hurt, you are responsible. Nothing wrong with that. I am not complaining, just thinking aloud. Just writing this down so that 1 year down the road I will remember.
Anyway finally finish organizing the department's bowling party. Do not know if it’s good. Well you can't please everyone can you? Food not good, some complain, boss say it’s good. So who do I listen? Prize money little, say me, but who gave the money? Think! Boss set the budget, what can I do? Out of my own pocket? Haha already took out time and effort yet people do not show appreciation. I could not even eat well on that day, walking around to coordinate. Glad some of the people do appreciate. That’s all that matters. Lets not care bout those black sheeps ya?
Haha reading back what I wrote it seem I had a terrible 2 days leave. Naahhh.. It was great. Relaxing, bought my shoes and just great. No work equals great. Haha but life is heng nan. Very difficult... Haha.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Came online to write something else, but can't help it when I came across it. Its so funny. I do not know if I every should feel proud. But at least I see honesty.


Sunday, August 03, 2008
Been to the movies lately, one after another over the weekends. Weird thing is I watched 2 Chinese movies at the cine already, something I probably have done in years, not to mention 2 in a row. Always felt its a waste of money to watch Chinese films in the Cine, but well what to do? Family d comes first and its nice to bring joy to people around you.
Well today is Money no enough 2. I wonder why they cant even name the movie properly, it should be not enough and not no enough. BUT it is entertaining in its own way, glorifying a language Singaporeans do not grace on their lips. I am one Singaporean proud to always say a Hokkien phrase, proud to be a Citi Beng. The film is full of the native language, and that probably made a lot of people more clueless bout the show. But for me? I understand it, and I chuckled at a few lines. But somehow today I felt distanced from the show, like I was an outsider. I wasn't really bought into the show. And again Jack Neo tried to bring a little bit of human morality issues into the movie, a bit of "complain bout the government" spirit. It aint surprising, what you expect from him. But its still worth watching, some form of entertainment for that one plus hour. I sort of enjoyed it, sort of.
Moral of the movie? Yes money is no enough, but happiness is your true wealth.
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