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Thursday, November 27, 2008
Torture is almost over. Suffer of eternal porridge should end tomorrow. Pills count has dropped from 27 a day to only 6. I am glad. Start of a new life. Only good thing that came out of this is a 3kg weight loss, which should come back with a blink of an eye judging from what I usually eat. Gosh I am missing those food already. Chicken Pie, Waffle, Ba gua....
Monday, November 24, 2008
Went to pluck out my wisdom tooth today. I did not even realise its going to be like this till I went to the dentist. Had swollen gums and headache for the past 3 days. The next thing I know was the dentist saying that there is infection on my wisdom tooth and proceeded to put antiseptic on me. I was so shocked for I did not recall agreeing to this. After asking to reconsider for 5 minutes, I realise I got no other options. Can't do it the next 2 weeks.
But alas, as I last recalled my wisdom extraction memory, it was nothing but torture. This time is no difference, probably much worse. Tears somehow flowed out of my eyes uncontrollably as I tried to bear the pain. I keep asking him to inject more anesthetic to my gum area. The tooth this time was much bigger, have to be sawed into 3 parts rather than 2. The dentist's pliers twisting and turning still vividly flash across me. The pain comes and goes in my mouth now as the anesthesia effect wears off. I can hardly talk, let alone eat. Perhaps I should keep taking pain killers.
As I sit here, I ask myself why do I have 4? Hopefully the remaining 2 can stay in there as long as they like. It is too much to ask for eternal?
Saturday, November 22, 2008
The colour of the month.. Pink. It seems most people are afraid to see that colour this month, especially at Citi, in the form of a letter. Retrenchment fears at Citi are high, but maybe not so in my department. Or are they masking it? I don't know. Well, I am not really that afraid, maybe just a little. But even if its me, I will not get particularly upset bout it. After all, if I were to be compensated with over 10 thousand dollars, maybe its not such a bad deal at all. Although I will miss everyone in my office, I can take it as a break, think of what I want to do. Maybe study, or start the business I have always dreamt of.
Life goes on, and its really wonderful at the moment. My mum is okay now after the operation, and my project is done, except the cleaning up. On the personal level, guess I can't be more happy than now. Well, life is great.
So guys, the first person to be voted out of Citi survivor is....
Sunday, November 02, 2008
I do not know what overcame me to write this entry, but I somehow got the idea, can't remember if it’s through radio, through the things I see or the papers. I guess a bit of everything.

We have seen over the years where women start to feel that its time they have been treated equally with man. They do not want to be stuck at home doing housework and they want to be seen as equal to man. They feel that their status has been suppressed, that they feel like home slaves rather than housewives. They got enraged by men who call their wives free maid. They decided even should they be doing housewife job, they should be call a nicer term, thus the word homemaker came about. Well men could not be bother with what their wives call themselves as long the job get done, the kids are looked after. But as time progresses, women wanted more. They want to be career women and work in the society as well. So as time goes by, more and more women showed that they are as good as men, some even better than men in the work field. Coupled with the factor of rising cost and increasing wants, a man alone cannot support the family and thus the wife joins him in the field of work.
Before anyone get me wrong, I have nothing against women working or seeking equality. I for one would say it would be a super boring place if my work place is all guys and no girls. It’s just that when some woman seeks equality, it seems its more than that they want. They seem to want everything to be in their favour, till its... well a bit overboard. I am NOT saying ALL women (I do not intend to seek the wrath of many women reading this blog). I am merely saying it seems SOME women are like that. Its just that this seem to be a common problem among young couples nowadaes. When they fight, common response from men is if women want to be equal, let them serve NS. Then women will reply, why don't you come and give birth to a baby. When will this debate ever end?
I on a personal level do not agree to both parents working when the kids are young. I on the receiving end knew how it felt to come back to an empty home after school everyday. Going from nanny to nanny when you are young do not feel good too. Do not bring in suggestions like hiring a maid/nanny, or letting your grand parents look after your child. It’s just different. So if we were to choose only one parent to work, then that would cause conflict since women want equality. And since old ages, mothers have to sacrifice. Its not we look down on them, it’s that with their motherly instinct, they seem to do a better job. And don't we all love our mum for their sacrifice and great love? Besides, from an Economics' point of view, to be on the efficient frontier, we should produce the maximum output with the minimum resources. So if the husband is indeed earning less than what the mother can bring in, then by all means the husband should be the one staying at home looking after the family. I being more understanding would not mind being a house husband. Haha but then again, I totally suck at tidying the house, so doing comparative trade analysis, I should not stay at home as it brings no benefit to anyone (what an excuse), oh but I digress. Point is, why can’t people just do what they are best in and not feel being treated unfairly?

To bring the point further, if you are a woman, and your husband sacrifice to stay at home, will you look down on him? You may say NO now! But touch your heart and imagine 5 years down the road when you a manager and you bring him out on your company function and people ask him about his job. He got no accomplishment and only stays at home to look after the children. How would you feel when people sneer at him? More importantly, how would he feel? I remember there was this TCS show on this, but alas I did not catch the full show and I do not know the ending. Even at times when the guy sacrifice, you might not even appreciate it. THESE women do not want equality, they wants superiority.

Sunday, October 26, 2008
Woahh its been more than 1 month since I wrote anything here. Guess this blog has contacted some terminal illness and is trying very hard to keep itself alive. Thank god it has finally recovered and like the saying goes, after the rain comes the sunshine and rainbow. Got a very good feeling that life from this moment on is gonna be very beautiful, I hope. My project is finally coming to an end now, and soon I will be able to let my thoughts flow freely again. Doing the project made me realise alot of things, some good, some bad. Saw what people can be capable of, and how some people just ain't what they seem to be. Learn alot on how to finally do things and juggle million of stuff on my own, learn how to coordinate with other department (and not piss them off like someone does). Guess there are 2 ways to accomplish your goals, by hook or by crook. Wanted to learn the hook way, end up I kena cooked. Guess I can never do anything by force. Persuasion is always my best weapon. Haha.

By the way I watched Tropic Thunder, its really funny. Something all of us who are stress with work can watch. No brainer laugh till you drop movie. And those who can spot Tom Cruise with one look, kudos to you!
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Its a rainy dae... But somehow I really enjoy rainy daes... Cooling, fun. Guess I am just different from most people.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Which is more pitiful? A person who have lived alone by himself, waiting only for the right one to come along, or a person who is afraid of being lonely and constantly find someone to be in love with. There is no answer to this question for I guess it does not make any difference. Each is happy in their own decision, each in their own belief.
One may laugh at the notion that there is no right one, or worse, THE ONE. There should be plenty out there, and you only have to constantly try and find the one that suits you MOST. Its a question of comparison between which one, not a question of finding the right one, or the special one. What happens when the one intended for you all your life met with an accident and dies off before you 2 even got the chance to meet? Do you remain alone all your life? To love and lost (even if it isn't your true love) is better than than not to love at all. but is that love?
From the other point of view, being with someone that you do not think is THE ONE is just a lousy solution out of loneliness. These people rather be alone then spend their time searching in the crowd. They believe that special one will chance upon them, and the moment their eyes met, they will fall in love with each other forever. Love at first sight, hardly a notion nowdaes, which alot out there will think it belongs more to a fairy tale book.
So should one believe in fate? I remember watching shows where they say each one of us have another better half, somewhere out in this world. We are meant to be together, complement in some ways, alike in others. Unfortunately in the world I live in today, fate hardly plays a part. Love is rather an act of own volition, the choice to choose who you fall in love with. Most of us just choose someone due to her qualities or due to some external factors, rather of letting the feeling flow, and it just happens. There is no reason why you like someone, except for that fact that you love him. Not because he is cute, he is rich, he is kind not funny. For if one day should he loses these qualities, you will no longer love him?
I am one who thinks that true love do exists, and that there is indeed a special one out there. Haha before I sound like a hopeless romantic, I must say that despite my belief, I have to bow down to reality at times, and alot in the past. I am not a love saint, and I have made countless mistakes in the past. So much so I sometimes do not know what to believe in anymore. Everything about love becomes a facade, and you lose hope in it. But despite all these, I hope I can still find the courage to believe in it when it happens. And I do hope the next time I do fall in love, I will not look at her qualities, her looks or for any other reason; except for the fact that she gives me warmth when I touch her, make me alive when she smiles at me and that very simple reason - the feeling that flows through us called love...
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Record Timing - left office at eleven. Worst day of my life.
But haha life goes on.
We turn your dreams into reality. Only way to achieve that? You dun sleep. Then there will be no dreams. Everything you do can only be a reality.
Citi never sleeps...
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Problems problems problems... It seems its not going well for things at home nor at office. Lots of pressure, lots of problems. But as life goes on, we learn to handle such things. Look at not the misery but the beauty that remains... The more we focus on the problems, the worse the situation will get. Relax and solve them one by one, and soon the others will go away.

To a dear special help in office:
I know its not easy and I always appreciate the help you render to me. Work is piling up but I will try to be there to share the burden with you. Do not put undue stress on yourself as I will still be keeping an eye on the work. I will not let go of corp action. In fact do not even think you are slow. Its because the process has grown alot (Now we look at no action items, we fill up checklist and we reconcile holdings more often). After my project I will look at it again and revamp it further and soon happy days will follow. Please hang on for the the next month! Sorry! Always remember to smile!

Now serious things aside, lets think bout something else. I heard that there is this famous person who sort lost her memory as she grew old. So as and when, her kids will have to tell her that their father or her husband has passed away. Everytime she heard it she will be sad again and again. This process repeats as she regain her memory and to lose them again. This real life story kinda relates to what happended in the Notebook, or to some 50 first dates. I watched both movies, and it is very sad to lose the memory of your love ones. And for it to repeat everyday, I guess it hurts everyone around you as well. And I admire those who chose to stick by them no matter what. Recent Korean show on Channel U also narrates bout a girl who lost her memory. That one is kinda sweet in the end but disheartening in the process.
Bottom line is... losing your memory sucks, even if its losing the lousy ones.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Another week has passed and I am still standing still in my life. Can't find the energy to do something different, waiting for that day perhaps. My brain is pretty dead, even till one stupid idiotic driver drove up the curb towards me, I was just standing there thinking what happened. Crossing the road recently is pretty damn dangerous too, I have so many people asking me to be careful. What's gone into me, I do not know in particular. Not moody, just tired?
Handling projects and daily work is giving me quite a lot of pressure. Just can't find the perfect balance or give enough attention to either. Learn along the way. I think I am giving myself to much pressure again, taking on the world's responsibility onto me again.
Well few things I would like to make comments on.

1. Think its kinda stupid to increase one month of maternity leave. One month ain't going to make a difference. Those who wanted to give birth will do so, those who do not want to will not do so even if you add 2-3 months. Its true you will push those at the border, but how many are there? It just make those who is giving birth more benefit, and putting pressure and extra burden on those who have to cover their work. Haha but if its someone you do not like at work then we can all work towards persuading them to give birth. Come on, 3 ain't enough. 4 maybe? More money, more leave. Think you can do it. Go for a girl this time ya?

2. My brother is in the Navy now. Goodness... They ask him to come back buy sunblock lotion as this week training will be out in the sun a lot. When do Singapore Army become so gu niang. still say must buy spf 50 at least. Wah biang. I can only say times have changed.

3.I phone craze is too much. Its an outdated phone by over a year now. 2 mega pixel, cant say it is a camera phone. ya it looks good, touchy but so....? Lots of phone out there like that. Well but all the I products simple make people's hearts flutter dun they? Somehow, love at first sight. Well Love is BLIND. That explains alot.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
End of a short break, do not what to expect when I get back to work tomorrow. Well at dinner time, some whirlwind of emotion overcame me and I suddenly felt glad to be going back to work. Haha wonder what's wrong with me. I am sure I will not be feeling that way during lunch tomorrow. Will I? I wonder....
Anyway last Friday wasn't fantastic for me. Got told off that I should be more careful. How can a person be careful over something that need not be done for the past 3 years? When its the first time its happening. It’s not being careful if it is happening out of the blue, when the only difference is 1 line out of the many congested lines. Doing a good job everyday isn’t good enough. It’s like a job of a bodyguard. Everyday you guard your master and nothing goes wrong, you are not rewarded. But one day people attack out of the blue and he got hurt, you are responsible. Nothing wrong with that. I am not complaining, just thinking aloud. Just writing this down so that 1 year down the road I will remember.
Anyway finally finish organizing the department's bowling party. Do not know if it’s good. Well you can't please everyone can you? Food not good, some complain, boss say it’s good. So who do I listen? Prize money little, say me, but who gave the money? Think! Boss set the budget, what can I do? Out of my own pocket? Haha already took out time and effort yet people do not show appreciation. I could not even eat well on that day, walking around to coordinate. Glad some of the people do appreciate. That’s all that matters. Lets not care bout those black sheeps ya?
Haha reading back what I wrote it seem I had a terrible 2 days leave. Naahhh.. It was great. Relaxing, bought my shoes and just great. No work equals great. Haha but life is heng nan. Very difficult... Haha.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Came online to write something else, but can't help it when I came across it. Its so funny. I do not know if I every should feel proud. But at least I see honesty.


Sunday, August 03, 2008
Been to the movies lately, one after another over the weekends. Weird thing is I watched 2 Chinese movies at the cine already, something I probably have done in years, not to mention 2 in a row. Always felt its a waste of money to watch Chinese films in the Cine, but well what to do? Family d comes first and its nice to bring joy to people around you.
Well today is Money no enough 2. I wonder why they cant even name the movie properly, it should be not enough and not no enough. BUT it is entertaining in its own way, glorifying a language Singaporeans do not grace on their lips. I am one Singaporean proud to always say a Hokkien phrase, proud to be a Citi Beng. The film is full of the native language, and that probably made a lot of people more clueless bout the show. But for me? I understand it, and I chuckled at a few lines. But somehow today I felt distanced from the show, like I was an outsider. I wasn't really bought into the show. And again Jack Neo tried to bring a little bit of human morality issues into the movie, a bit of "complain bout the government" spirit. It aint surprising, what you expect from him. But its still worth watching, some form of entertainment for that one plus hour. I sort of enjoyed it, sort of.
Moral of the movie? Yes money is no enough, but happiness is your true wealth.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
In a weird place, the stories goes....

Life is getting really tough in the palace, with many new projects coming to fight the impeding new war. Build this build that Cao Ni says... Last year, She say the emperor wants the LW catapult, with that, we can face the enemy better, less work and more efficient. But more than a year has past, we did not move forward, we did not conquer any mountains or land. We only used up more resources, lost 2 of our best generals... Nowadaes because of the own catapult we made, we had to be more careful. Everyday tick here and there. So when the new project to built the giant IDD boat come, I wonder how good it will really turn out to be. Use the horse I say. At least I know it best. But no one can turn Cao Ni's idea... No one...

ZhuGe Yeah was talking to Zhang Fang... "Life was really tough a few weeks ago yeah? Cao Ni was pushing me to the limits. Rojects here and there. Recon here and there. Lucky normal work not much. Even Lei Bei almost flipped. He was shot 5 arrows just during a 1 hour lunch break."
Zhang Fang say loudly "Ya Lo! I more and more dun like her! I like to talk mah! Say I talk less can do more work, buay ta han! Want me to become hello Kitty ah? Cannot talk."
ZhuGe Yeah replied, nodding "Ya I know. I also like to talk. Whats work without talk. Somemore I advisor, can only talk, no action. Everytime I say got problem, she ask heng nan meh? I know its really tough on you. She wan to die ah, dont know My Melody cannot become Hello Kitty."
Zhang Fang said loudly again, "What to do, our lord leh. Sometimes so fierce like tiger, sometimes like cat. Pattern more than badminton. Weather change faster than you can say change. Then the country doing badly. Dunoe how it will affect us also? So worried."
ZhuGe Yeah say"You dun talk so loud leh. Wait I become like you one ear deaf how? More importantly let Cao Ni hear how? No worries la. Maybe we need to look for Zhou Phang. But she have went so far to serve another lord."
Zhang Fang, "Maybe when the new general come can help us. Hear have to coax her a few round then she join us one. Maybe she is really good, can fight back Cao Ni, not scare of her."
ZhuGe Yeah, "Na Li ke neng... But cross my fingers and hope so.... I have to go face the BLACK-smiths again... There is a funny smell around the place they work. Who call only they can help me build the boat she wants...."

So off went ZhuGe Yeah, to workshop no.9.

The above story is purely out of boredom. No relations is to be made to any real life examples no matter how close the comparisons can be made. Purely fabrications and for entertainment purpose.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Went to a course the last 2 days - 7 habits of effective people. It’s really interesting, and though it did not change my life, one of the habits sort of allow me to found back what was truly important to me in my life. It was just my earlier post that I lament that I never had control over my life and I do not have an aim. Through this course, it taught me a life mission statement is not what you invent, it is what you discover. It’s been there all the while.

Alice in Wonderland asked the Cat which way she ought to go from here. The Cat asked where did she want to go and Alice reply I don't much care where.... The Cat replied then it doesn’t matter which way you go.

As we live life, we get lost and forget what was truly important to us. In pursuit of money and fame, we forget what holds truly to us. And when you get lost, even if you walk doubly fast, you do not get anywhere, you just get lost twice as fast. And so in order to constantly remind myself, I wrote a mission statement for myself. And maybe you out there reading this might want to start to think what you want in your life from today if you have not. N one can go back time and make a brand new start, but everyone can start from here and make a brand new ending.

My Mission statement
I shall embrace happiness always and laugh often, not looking at the misery but the beauty that remains. For if everyday is a sunny day, life would be dry like the desert.
Be true to myself and practise self-love, then with that, spread my care and happiness to people around me.
At the end of the day, I wish to look back at my life to know I made a difference in my life, and hopefully others.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Went to Sentosa Today, with the thought of catching the "song by the sea", the new "Musical fountain" show. Obviously it shouldn't be called that anymore, as the venue ain't held at the fountain anymore. Well it was kinda disappointing as half way through the show, it rained pretty heavily and everyone had to hit for the shelter, missing the show. Wonder why cant they build a roof over the seats. Pretty weird as Singapore rains almost half the time. I can always go back, but what bout those tourist that came? Perhaps STB might wana think bout it. Oh but I must add that the sky ride and the kart ride down those slopes were really fun. But I guess I should blog about what I want do before I digress further.

Had a chance to shop or rather walk around in Vivo after the trip to Sentosa. Been having these alone moments lately, eating alone as such. It got me the chance to think. What have I achieve all my 27 years of life? Almost nothing. I have been living the life what my parents want, what the society expect. Go to a good school, do as well as you can, then go Uni, then find a job as good as you can, which pays you well. I am not blaming anyone for living the life I am leading now. To be honest, I would not know what I want or how else different a life I would be living had I really had a choice. Problem is, I never really though bout what I want in life, in a job. What is a good job? What matters? The pay? The colleagues and boss? The prospect or the sense of achievement? That is why my job decision or career path has always been a mess. Such a mess I choose not to think about it and be "happy" the way I am. Seem to carry the mentality, if it ain't broken, dun fix it. With these clouds of doubt constantly floating around my head, dun even bother to ask me what I wish to want with my life. Without aims, probably that's why none my girlfriend found that as a quality in me. Though I am forever thinking too much, I never thought for myself, while always thinking for others. Can't change that habit, or probably I do not wish to change.
A lot of times, people passes judgment onto the people around them, and I must admit to such crimes before I point my fingers at others. I witness alot of foreign workers around my estate. They like to wear long sleeve shirt, in a hot sun, sit on the grass patch having picnics, or fish by the canal. People say they are crazy, to wear such clothes and sit in a barren piece of grass under the hot sun. But hey, if they enjoy what they are doing, who are we to judge them? When I laid on the grass patch in Sydney, did anyone laughed at me? Just because its more accepted somewhere else, surely it does not make it anymore worse here. Under circumstances ruling by society, unfortunately there will always be the norms and the weirds. And sometimes falling on the weird side makes you happy, for that makes you special. It makes sense isn't it? The whole world may say you are silly, but I am sure you can still turn around and smile at them. I for one, love to run in the rain instead of carrying an umbrella.
It been a long time since I sat down and think, and write something like this close to my heart. Perhaps its nice to reflect on oneself once in a while, and not to lose yourself in the buzz of chasing for things like money. Happiness have to be always kept close to your heart. True happiness. Going to Toy R Us and looking at old toys that I used to play made me realize what kept me happy as a kid. And that simple rule was just to keep doing things YOU want. Just you, not anyone else. Smile my friends, stay happy!
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Feeling old nowdaes... dunoe why. Perhaps its because another colleague has left the bank. Out of the nearly twenty people when I first came 2 years ago, we are left with only 6 of us not counting the bosses. Out of this 6 3 have attempted to leave before, 2 of them probably will work here for the rest of their life. Which left me? Where do I go? Which group do I belong to?
Monday, June 16, 2008
Woah its been almost 2 months since I updated by blog. Nothing changed. Havent got the time, feeling or the means to go online due to the following reasons: 
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Who is the one who said we must work from 9-5pm everyday. Obviously most of us even work till later than that official hours. I can think of many reasons why we should only work half days. Say from 9-2pm,2 to 7pm and 7-12pm.
1. Working half day would make all of us happier. Happier would mean we live longer. Live longer we will be able to work a few more years(of course that is up to individuals, we can still retire early.)
2. No more lunch time problem where people go lunch at different timings, and one office cant find the other party. No lunch crowd at any place, so no need to play the tissue game for those at Shenton.
3. Overall everyone will have a job as more employees needed, unemployment rate falls, economy goes up, salary goes up, thus consumption power goes up, end benefit companies' profit goes up as well so good life for every one.
4. Since we are half day employees, we can have work-life balance. We can go out after work, go movies, shopping etc. Companies do benefit again as there are more business. More chance for people to take cab as well as people are outside office.
5. No more overtime that hurts health, skipping over dinner. Those that needs money can work 2 shifts, which is what he used to do anyway. That way he dun even have to juggle between 2-3 jobs like he used to.

Of course bottom line is, who would not want to. I on the employee side hope with this new measure, my pay do not get cut. Ok by a little I dun mind... just a little. Afterall companies do benefit as well. So pls make the first move.

Anyway after meeting ShiXing, he told me bout this website bout figures released by MOM and IRAS. It tells you how much your salary is benchmarked against those your age of tax payers in Singapore. So I know I got a lot to do to catch up in my category of 25-29. In order to be in the top 10%, one must hit 4100. Now I got an excellant reason to ask for that payrise I am thinking of, with statistic on my hand. Not any job agency salary guide anymore...
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Hmmm its been a week since I got back from Sydney and I haven't wrote bout it. Went to Sydney with my family. Though most would say going on trips with your family ain't as fun as going with your friends, this time round it was really quite nice. Perhaps its the place.

The first day I went to the Royal Easter Show. It's the first time I went to such a big carnival. It was pretty boring at first, with the Aussies parading their cattle, horses and sheep. Then there came a bit of excitement with bull riding, then came spectacular stunt shows from 4WD trucks and flying motorbikes. Then it ended with a bang full of fireworks for 15 mins I think.
2nd day went to see the usual Opera House, the rock market and of course their Harbour Bridge. Seeing it face to face is really nice. Lying on the grass looking at the clear blue sky in the Botanic Garden is nice, as well as the bird eye's view from up above in the Sydney sky tower. And the ferry ride was very enjoyable. Something I would recommend everyone who visits Sydney.
Next day I went to the Blue Mountains. No coffee there, no E-postcards there. But very pretty mountains and valleys. Mini waterfalls and rain forests. Haha there is also a nice Chinese restaurant up the Komtomba village there. First time I see real scenery. One word, spectacular. Especially from the skyway cable car with transparent glass floor, even if its a short 7 minutes ride.
Then I also went to the sand dune to try sand boarding, out on a cruise to watch the dolphins. AHah but the dolphins are a bit dissapointing, as it wasn't so close encounter after all. But the boat ride was really fun, especially when I got to ride on the boom net and got dragged along by the boat.
Last day at Bondi was relaxing. Seeing the waves, sand, coastal rocks. Also interesting to see a swimming pool just next to the big sea. Dropped by one french pastry shop while I was there. Delicious cakes. Best I have eaten so far. Perhaps its the holidae taste buds.

Ahah so all in all very nice. At times peaceful, at times exciting. At times beautiful, at times simply simple. Nice holiday. A nice break in a while.

Ohhh I hope this link works, it contains some photos while I took there. As its a free account, think there is a limit on how many photos I can post.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/46418033@N00/sets/72157604270467272/
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
我看见,真看见, 这些熟悉的画面.
当我说你曾笑我想太远.
我看见, 才看见, 永远永远都很远.
当你说很抱歉....

说好谁都不回头, 我真的就不再回头.
让你偶尔问起我, 听说我再没有哭过.
一个人, 向前走, 走到约好的以后.
能这样就够, 你真的幸福, 我知道就足够.
Friday, March 07, 2008
What a sucky dae... Ok it may seems everydae is sucky, but todae really is. Been really tired these daes, so I must sincerely thank the young boy who woke me up when the train stopped at Boon Lay just now. Everyone was gone, and he woke me up. What happened to the person siting beside me, opposite me, or still see me sleeping soundly away. Really thanks. Otherwise I may end up back in Tampines again.

Boss have to do it again. Move me to a sinking ship again. Ask me to step out of my comfort home and clear shit again. Say its for my own good. I wonder.... I feel like leaving. That I am not wanted. Since they dun need me in my current team, lets go to some bank who needs me in their team, who are willing to pay me so much more. And when I am vexed bout this, E.T. has to come bother me with a stupid question, just because she want to be in Annie's good books. Everything Annie say she want to do blindly. When she don't even want to do, when we cannot even do it in the first place. So pissed off. I am glad its the new 8. Never never going to make it 9!
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
I was reading the papers that day and I came across an article, people nowadays are talking much lesser to each other. It cites an example of a couple taking the train together, the entire journey not talking to each other. I do observe some couples hearing their own MP3, sometimes others play their own PSP while the girl read magazine. People do not have much to talk to each other, less in common. Gone are the days where couples have so much to tell each other, grow old together and watch the sunset in the porch.
Which brings me to another point, sometimes I wonder if I talk too much in office. So much so I might be labelled as NATO(No action, talk only). Haha I hope not. But I think I am one of the person who talks the most, that I admit. But I need to talk. If every other single minute is about working, I will either die of boredom or stress. Work or not work, we are all humans. And as humans, we need to communicate. I remember that there were days where there were no one to talk to, and I felt like those old folks home old man, staring at the computer like counting down to the endless tomorrows. Goodness, eternal silence is a torture. I guess the other group of people who do not talk, living in their own world, oblivious to whats happening around them, must hate us so much. But sometimes I wonder are they really like that, for somethings they do hear. Pretending to do your work and yet secretly listening is so scary. I do not want to venture further into whats on their mind. Just like they say who is more scary, the barking dog or the silent one. The enemy in the open, or the terrorist in the dark. Haha imagination runs wild. Anyway even if they do talk, I would like to liken it to a group of people I know call "conversation stoppers". I remember during my varsities day, there were people who would jump into a conversation, then full stop. No one could continue. Or there was this forum where many many people leave their comments, then full-stop man has to come and then that's it. Its just weird. I guess its just the different wave length in thinking. Weird questions I cannot answer, I am being faulted to give one single word answer. Yes blame me, but thank god I am on the side of majority. Thank god not only me. I think I am just being mean.
Which brings down to one important question. Having one person down there at the dinner table not talking, not laughing and not eating.... Will it be weird? 7 or 8? I really don't know....
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Really been a scatter-brain lately. For 2 consecutive days, I left my stuff at restaurants. Friday night I went TCC in CityLink and as I do not have a habit of wearing my specs when I eat, I left it on the table. Then only when I reach home I realize I left it there. Luckily when I called back, they told me they have kept it for me. So I have to go back on Saturday to retrieve it.
Come Sunday again, I left my whole bag at Pizza Hut. Lucky this time round I remember it after 15 mins leaving the restaurant.
To top it off, I have a bird shit on me. One word, sway...
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Today is the last day of the Chinese New Year celebrations for me. Though the customs did state that there are 15 daes in total, my personal countdown ends when I go back to work. Perhaps when the weekend comes around the corner again I will feel the festive period again. But seriously, CNY really aint that much of a big deal for me. I do not do much visiting; a tradition custom that lost much of its meaning as the years goes by for alot of people. Much kids nowdaes treat CNY=get ang pows dae. The more houses you visit, the more money you get. And then relatives tend to irritate me with their superfluous questions that repeat every year. A particular conversation would go like this. "Wahh so long never see you already! How are you?” I smile, "ya..." Used to be "where you study?" Dun they bother to remember after asking every year. Why ask if you dun want to remember? Now would be "Where you working?" This is a much more valid question, since we are more prone to changing jobs than school. But still, all I can say is Citi. What do I do at Citi? I frankly do not know how to explain to people except say something related to securities. "Wahh stock market! make alot of money, alot of bonus hoh?" No.... Let me squash 2 myths today. First of all, securities related processing does not equal trading stock. And working in banks dun equal to high pay and high bonus. My hourly pay is merely 3 times more than a Mac boy at the counter and my bonus did not even hit 2 months. Come to think of it, I am a high class Mac manager perhaps.... Goshh... Aint I happy? Haha perhaps a bit exaggerating.
Writing this entry makes me sound like a grumpy old man who isn't happy with his Chinese New Year. Nahh. I did enjoy it, and it was really nice. I manage to do a lot of things I did not manage to do before, did some shopping, away from work for 4 daes, and manage to catch alot of sleep. Its just that Monday blues are visiting me a bit earlier, and I will miss the last few daes. From now on its perhaps work, work and more work as holidaes will be so hard to come by going forward. Why can't Singapore celebrate St Patrick/St Andrew/ St David dae, Queen/King or even the Sultan's birthday. Dear Government just do not know how much we adore them. Dun we all love them, huh Singapore? Or at least 12 days of Chirstmas... I can sing the song if you like. I hope all of you had a wonderful holiday the last four days.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
I like Jay Chou's recent song 青花瓷 so much. It is so similar to 东风破 and 发如雪. 方文山 seem to be able to write so beautiful lyrics, and with those music, bring you to another time, another era. Back into the old world of China, into those paintings.

The most important line in the chorus is 天青色等烟雨，而我在等你.
Because we can't control the weather, we can only wait. In other to have 天青, we have to wait for it to rain first. Thus after the 烟雨, it will be 雨过天晴后, 而我在等你.
Which relates to life, to love. A lot of things in life you cannot control. You can only wait for things to happen, to change. There's nothing much you can do, but to wait, perhaps to wait for someones love. And that love itself, gives you the power and courage to wait and wait. There may be a rain before that, but normally the sky after a heavy rain is the most beautiful. Sometimes the most beautiful love in the world is for someone to wait for who he loves till the end of time, with no complains.

我也只能被动而安静的等待著不知何时才会出现的你
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Life ain't easy. There is no easy way to go about living it. There is also no correct way to live one's life. What's past, one must learn to let go. What's to come, we must learn to live in hope. What's bothering us, we must learn to face it. What's making you happy, you have to appreciate it. Saying all these are easy I guess, but embracing these thoughts ain't easy. I never say its easy, after all, who say life is easy. Life is just great. And life ought to be happy.
Just some random thoughts....

我们曾经做的傻事
醒来以后是不是就有解释
原来承诺两个字
累人一辈子
也轻易让人勾勾手指

我们曾经错过的事
是否在失去以后才有价值
原来梦想的种子
要用一辈子的执着
来等待它的果实

我们各自那段往事
多年以后是不是还有坚持
原来爱情这回事
烦心一辈子
幸福让人欲言又止

我们未来那些日子
是否在天亮以后不再迷失
原来活着的样子
是坦然的过一辈子
过程只是让你更懂事
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Had a battle with a flying cockroach yesterdae night, not exactly my kind of way to celebrate Saturdae's night after a long week of work. I hate cockroaches, especially those that fly. I do not like to kill any living thing, unless they get on my nerves. So this idiot had to bother me while I was watching a very lousy display of football by Liverpool, which I must admit the whole team probably would be crap without Torres. Then again, its been like that for the past 10 years. I do not know why I still stand by them till today. Blind love I guess.
Anyway back to the roach incident. So me and my brother chased it all the way back into the kitchen and into the hole it probably came from. I stuffed the newspaper in that hole thinking it will just never come back again. But after a while, I could hear it coming back. Yes, I have the ability to hear cockroaches walking, they make this funny irritating noise when they are in the room. I turned around and there it was again in the living room. This time it really makes my blood boil so I called my brother and we chased it he killed it. Yes of course it ain't gonna be me. AHhaah.

Ok frankly I dunoe whats the big deal bout this incident or where this is going to lead me. But it did made my night "memorable". I dun particularly have nice times with them. I hate them, and to an extent I am afraid of them. Made me remember the scene when I chanced upon a roach nest and dozens of them swarming around... Ok I probably shouldn't have gone there. Dinner's around the clock. Think Happy, think... Its just a bug's life.
Friday, January 04, 2008
I realise that when I am bloody tired, I am so sick and tired to think of a nice answer. Sometimes they seem kinda stupid to me, or rather, my answer would seem idiotic to them. I am one who can think on the spot, coming out with any answers to any question when I am in the mood. But when I am tired or simple not in the mood, I guess there is no such thing as there is no stupid question in the world. Do not ask me rhetorical questions.

Below are some of which I come across and I shoot back immediately (and of coz I remember till today).
Why is it so dark? - Coz there are no lights.
Why do you eat ketchup? - Coz I dun eat Chili.
Why are you eating? Because I am hungry.
Why you cannot come? Coz I cant make it.
Haha some would seem me as being so mean. But I meant no harm. Really.

Some other kind of questions from act smart people pisses me off.
Is this half filled or half empty.
Why aren't blue berries blue?
Why is orange called orange and apples not called red?
Why are hot dogs called that when it is not even dog meat?

Bottom line, do not piss me off with Smart Alec questions. Why am I writing this post? All I can say is some idiot gave me this inspiration.
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Opps I forgot to welcome 2008! And its the 3rd day of the new year already! Well the 1st business day of the year aint that great, with a certain stock haunting me. Glad I somehow manage to pull it off in front my boss so the next thing it how to rectify it. Well guess I shouldnt be talking bout work today.

New Year's Eve was kinda simple and different. No fireworks this year, no crowded countdown this year. Just a nice dinner with Gis at Karma Kettle & Rhapsody (Cluny Court) at Bukit Timah. It was a nice small cosy place with excellent service (but I must say that day the food ain't as nice I guess, but still not bad) Then we walked down Bukit Timah Road pass my old school and relived the old daes. Final destination at KAP. Haha its so stupid, I wonder why those schools(Chinese High, MGS, Nangyang Girls etc) around that area used to think its like the coolest place to hang out after school. In case those of you who are not aware, KAP is just a big MacDonald at King Albert's Park. I wonder why myself used to hang out there as well? Whats the faze? When the clock struck 12, the Mac staff came around to wish us Happy New Year. Haha one thing that also came out of my mind strongly that day was that cab fares are damn expensive nowadaes! I spent 40 plus just from Tamp to Bkt Timah, and then from there back Home. Usually it will only hit 30 plus. Gosh.... Nice bonus for Taxi Uncles out there! Haha.

2008, lets see. No resolutions for me. Resolutions = wishes that do not come true. You spend time thinking bout them, then procrastinate, then that's it. You decide if you should make the same resolutions next year. Lame. Haha as least it applies to me a few years back. I am king of procrastinators. But I hope indeed it will be a happy new year. Staying happy each year is a simple wish for me every year, though its not easy keeping me happy. Haha. Just kidding, I am so easily satisfied, I think. Am I? I am starting to doubt myself. Ok, bonus and increment time next week. Its like the Star Awards for us, I wonder how it will be like. I am not expecting alot, coz its Citi, "the world largest bank". But I know if I do not get my just rewards, the bank can say bye bye to me. And I guess they won't miss me, cause they do not appreciate me at all. Today is Jason's last day as well. We entered together, I get a good feeling, maybe its time soon. Maybe? Happy New Year everyone!
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