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Monday, December 26, 2005
You're yellow, the color of joy and energy — two things you definitely bring to everyone around you. It's hard for anyone to be sad or lonely in your presence; your sunny disposition and cheery outlook just won't allow it. The warmth of your personality shines through in the kindness you show friends and family (and strangers, too). Always ready with a lighthearted joke or heartfelt compliment, you know how to make people feel good about themselves, so they can't get enough of you. Yellow is a warm and inviting color for a warm and inviting person — you!

http://web.tickle.com/invite?test=1108&type=t

Thats what I get for doing this colour personality Test. I wonder if I am still the person who really brings sunshine to my friends. In fact only some of them felt it bah, since I take a while before I really blend in with people.

Wana thank Gis who is so worried that I have changed and lost my smile. I am alrite, and I am very happy. Life is ok, but I am great. Next meeting I will make sure I wun be looking so sian again. Haha.
Also wana thank those who takes time to read my blog, find out bout my recent life happenings. Esp to Angeline who still bother to coment. ahha. Thank you for caring that I still exist, hahah.
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Its suppose to be a merry merry Christmas, but 2 sad events happened around me. Both my girlfirend's and my best friend's Grandma passed away 1 day after the other. They are the 2 closest friends of mine at the moment and for such a thing to happen to them, somehow my heart grows in pain for them sometimes. Pls bless them for this period of time, to tide over their grief.

Which reminds me, life is short, do what you want, love who you love. Appreciate every moment, for you do not know when that moment will be gone. Regardless, I hope everyone have a wonderful christmas, an occasion I love more than any other holidaes.

Merry christmas.
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Finally back to the world of civilization. Not that reservist was that bad, but no matter how army imprves, it still kinda sucks. Bathing in clogged toilet where water are up to your ankle level, going outfield and eating dun non appealing food(though they improved the packaging) and other stupid stuff. What we can do inside camp when there is nothing to do is sleep. Practically I slept more hours in camp then out here. I miss the time I sit infront of computer and switching on my msn and stare blankly at my comp. haaha though I did get a really chance to reflect back at my life and see where I wish to head.

All in all, it was a good trip, I learn a lot of things. I found back myself. I learn to appreciate things. I saw a lot of my great friends. Yes, despite the tough expereice of being dirty, running around, carrying heavy stuff, it was really a good experience. BUT I really wun want to experience it if I have a choice. See you guys in March 2007!
Saturday, December 10, 2005
While one tries to find oneself at the crossroad,
One must take care not to lose himself.
By the bright lights of the city,
or the lullaby of the birds singing in the far distance.
To find who you truly are,
take a look at the stars and ask silently in your heart,
"Who am I?"
"You are who you are."
If you chose to be led by the city lights,
you belong to the buzzling city.
If you chose to be led towards singing birds,
you belong with nature.
Who you are, its no matter.
Most importantly you must be true to yourself,
true to everyone around you.
And thats who you are, the unique you.

Hahah suddenly felt like writing this para of words up there while I am on my endless journey of finding the meaning of life and finding out who I am. I am going to resevist this coming Mondae. Its no holidae break, but perhaps will let me rest mentally for a week. Hope I dun become too stupid. Sleeping in the jungle may find me back what I lost. On the other hand, what I lost may not be important to me afterall. I am who I am. I will be who I become. It aint no matter.

My hands are small I know, but they are not yours they are my own.

p/s: Everyone who is reading my blog, stay happy!
Saturday, December 03, 2005
Nowadaes it feels like I am making a post a week, to sum up my whole weekend. This week for the first time, there was a dae where I din even had the chance to go for lunch. Any while listening to the radio, it talked about "kong zhuo kuang". I think at the moment I fall into the category. Haha coz I havent took a single leave on the job, even when I am sick I make sure I come for the first half to finish my work, and drinking water and going to the toilet becomes a waste of time. Haha of coz I am not really to that extend as bad as it sounds, but sometimes I just feel that way. Being dreaming and thinking bout work every night I slept, maybe I should go on a holiday somehow. This coming week of resevist will give my mind a break. Never hated army life, for thats when you hear turn left you go left and walk straight you move on.

Enter into the magical world of dragons, flying unicorns, amazing tents, mysterious portal key and evil wizards. Thats the power of harry potter and I truly enjoyed the show. Long time since I watched a movie, been over 5 months I think. More importantly watched it with Gis and Zhi Hai, 2 pals I havent watch a movie with for a long long time. Feels like the daes when we first stepped into uni. Though we 3 are from different faculty, we seem to alway find time to meet up last time and having a common ECA of coz helps to bring us closer. Hope this friendship last forever.
Saturday, November 26, 2005
Woah long time since I met my uni friends and yesterdae was fun. We talked through the night till 1am. We talked about renting another chalet where hopefully this time round won't be haunted. Still remembered I rent a chalet at those old sentosa chalet and a friend took us to walk around one old stretch of road supposely to be haunted. As you walk on the road, you will notice that the lampost lights switch off behind you. When you walk the second time, you will notice that the lights there will be on again. Of coz we din dare to walk the second round.
Then at night when I slept, the bare road behind our house seem to be empty but there are so many car lights and sounds in the late middle of the night where they shouldnt be so much ppl. Weird place, really weird.... Haha but our stay at sentosa was great and I hope to organize another fun trip for all of us.

Working has turned slightly better now, with me and Ray deciding to go for a revamp after our recent work is cleared. Slowly bit by bit I am clearing those work lagging behind. I guess relaxing once in a while after work will really make you more refresh, more motivated and efficient for work. Cheekien also recently comented he wana go climb mount kinabalu. Lookin at those pictures really make you forget the city life. Those mountain pics that Zhihai took seems like its where deity lives. I wana visit there too! Haha life is not bad! (coz cannot say g**d or it will turn bad. oh yes its true.)
Saturday, November 19, 2005
This week is horrible, work is not smooth at all. Made so much mistakes and somethings at work are better left unsaid. I had been warned before that working life sux, but dinoe life can be so sucky. School life seems to be really much better afterall, hoping that those still studying can enjoy whatever time they have left. I also realize all my friends who are working aint leading that happy life afterall. All seem to end up chasing that only thing that can motivates us, yes sadly its money.
But Sheryl told me, find back the reason why you chose this job in the first place. I think i remembered. So I m going to hang on. Just hang on. Haha hope for a better tomorrow!
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Haha Yesterdae both me and my girlfriend both dreamt together. But in our dreams were not each other but another guy and gal. She had a poor dream, a nightmare she called. A fren of hers died in a car accident in China. Mine was better. I dreamt of Angeline and Poh Loon, before a math exams. I seem to be quite happy inside the dream, finally going back to the school. But just before exam started, I realize my calculator and .... I was woken up by my mum as I am going to be late for work. So funny to dream of these 2 friends, only to realize why. We all have surnames starting with "Y" so will alway sit together in exams. Its so weird that even in my dreams my mind seem to work. Dreams are suppose to be without logic, I wonder why I still have "control" over my dreams.... I wonder why...

Todae I finally spoke to her... the result is like "I like you, but you still have to wait. I already told my mum, but she have to seek dad's consent first. SO I dun really know the outcome, but I will persuade them real hard. Dun worry k? Once again, I like you. "
What can I say except smile at her. Only time will tell in 2 months time.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
HAha todae saw an auditor came to see our work, quite surprised to see one of them is my friend. I guess more and more of friends will be visiting me soon in the future as so many of my frineds are auditors.
2 lessons I learn today. Be good to accountancy students, you never know when are they going to audit your work. the second i learn from Ray, even though they are your friends, do not reveal anythign bad about your work. haha life is so "dangerous" with auditors around.
Good luck to all auditors out there!
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Todae is a funny dae. I suddenly had the urge to flip through all my old stuff and old photos. I saw my Seconday school photo where we all graduated. Some of the faces I already forgotten till I saw them. Brought back many memories, mostly nice ones. Din learned how to appreciate my time in Chinese High, alway thought it was a lousy school. But after I graduated, realized its really really a very wonderful school. It gave me a very special education, it gave my great friends. A lot most probably did not know, if not for a group of kind hearted friends who made me turn my back on a bad group of friends, I most prob would not end up in uni. I thank them sincerely from the bottom of my heart.

Alot of times in life we tend to not treasure what we have till its gone. Be it a nice colleague at work who you can joke with, or the times u spend with your girlfriend. Used to think phonecalls and watching movies are so plain simple. But ever since Xiao Hui went to China, I never stepped into a cinema, and phonecalls became ever so precious. Everything I seen todae are like telling me that I havent been appreciating what I had last time. I guess I should have done better. Well no point crying over split milk, I have to pick up my life and make every moment more meanigful. I have to treasure every moment I have and I am going to ... No idea what else I can do. Just be happy I guess. I once said, though my dream is simply to be happy everydae, its the hardest dream to obtain. So dun ever laugh at my dream! AHah.

These few daes been thinking how to tell something to my boss, tryign to find the right moment. But nothing seems to be right. Feels so much like expressing my love to a gal I like. Dunoe what to say, so I rehearse through my mind. But I guess when the actual situation comes, I will be tongue tied. God, pls help me on this one. Well tml I shall try again. Hope everything goes well for me.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Woah today is a holiday, but I am stuck in home alone. My family went their separate ways, each with their own programs. But nevertheless, resting at home can be so wonderful, especially when the sun is so hot, the body is so nua, the eyes so tired. Haha.

Most of my frens are having their exams now, cant bother them or disturb them, which makes me think I am so far away from school life when it was only like 5 mths ago... Gone are the days where you rush for projects, get excited bout presentations or dread that 60 pg report. But everythign in life has its good, has its bad. For alot, school can be so stressful, when exams are round the corner. For me, it never really got to stress me. Maybe coz I dun care bout exams bah. I remembered one interivew i had when I told the interviewer I was never really stressed in my life. She tot I was osmekind of alien. haha maybe there are moments where I am nervous or moody when datelines are tight, but never stressed out. Cant afford to I guess, coz life moves on even when you are stress, why bother to be man? Life is short, so make the best out of it. Always treasue the times you are anjoying, for you wont know when things are going to change.

To a special person out there, no matter what the outcome, I wont forget bout you. Thank you.
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Recently I havent had the time to write, or rather I dun have the mood. While work has been rather smooth, my love story wasnt writing too well. Sometimes, being alone in Singapore missing someone can be quite a torture, and I have to smile and hang on. But last thursday, work din went smooth, I went home late and without dinner at 9pm, I was feeling tired and hungry. I did not get the encouragement I expect from my girlfriend from her sms, I felt really down. On my way walking home, it just suddenly rained heavily. I did not ran for shelter, I somehow chose to run in the rain. I wanted to run away from my problems, I wanted to be wet in the rain. I ran as fast as I could,probably looked stupid running so fast in the rain when shelter as by my side, somemore in office clothes.

When she called at night to se how I am doing, I could not took it anymore and I broke down, telling her how tired I was in the relationship. For the first time in 2 years, I finally said I was tired. After complaining all the "suffering", I finally felt much better. I did not know what to expect after saying all these, but somehow it turned better. She was very understanding and she apologised. A single "dui bu qi" eased all the pain, and I guess my life is starting to turn out much better. Maybe its not good to bottle up your feelings sometimes, thats why I am starting to write my blog again. Thats why I am using my old template again. thats why I chose this song to bring back all the memories I had in school. Thank you all my friends in NTU who made a difference in my life. Thank you all. Its yesterdae once more...
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Weeks have passed and I start to see the meaningless of working without a goal or an aim. I finally realized why people used to dislike me for not having a dream that I wish to pursue. What is wrong, I asked the world? Why must I live the way the world asked me? More often than not I can't agree with a lot of the things the world does, but hey, all I can smile and say no thanks. They say if you cant beat them, join them? I dun wish to. I like the world I create, I like to live in the world I create. I am not feeling particuarly upset now, just dunoe why I suddenly feel like writing all these out now. Wind blowing strongly at me from outside the window, music playing, nice feeling, unbelievable story....

This is a story of a young man who was on the streets, aimless. He seems to have everything he always wanted in life. A job, a wife, a pretty one that everyone envys. But something was missing in his life. He sat down at the pier, looking and staring into the open blank sea. Suddenly his phone rang, a familiar voice said, "how are you? is it ok we meet up? I need someone to talk to." The man paused, gathering all his strengths he answered with a weak yes. He was thorn between responsibilty and his heart. He wanted to go, but he can't. But his heart did win in the end. He felt weak whenever he hears her voice.

At the coffee house, she signaled to him, and he went down and sat beside her. The familiar smile wasn't on her face, and the concerned guy immediately asked, "you sound troubled just now, anything wrong? Anyway I can help?" The gal forced a smile and said, "nothing wrong, I just needed company, your company." The guy did not want to probe. For he knew when they say grief is halfed when shared is wrong. No matter how many times you tell someone whats bothering you, the thing doesn't go away. It sometimes deepens your wound more. They talked bout childhood, the happy times they shared at the playground. Happy times just passes you by so quickly sometimes without you realising. Ten years later, sitting at the coffe house were two adults. Two close friends, so close, yet so far. After two hours, they left the place, the guy sending her home. She asked, "Is it really ok? She must be waiting at home." The guy shook his head, and said its ok. They walked down the alley, the familiar alley that he used to send her home after late nights movies.

The guy finally asked when they reached the gate, "Is it becoz of him?" The gal shook her head. "Dun be silly. Dun worry bout me. Worry more bout yourself. I just need company," She said again, as if to reassure they guy or to reinforce her lie. The guy nodded, not saying much except good night and take care.

On his way back, he knew he was right. It was about him, it gotta be about him. Its so late at night, but he was still not back. Why cant he appreciate who he has at home? He thought about how he used to like the gal he just met, but never had the courage to say. How the gamble on a great friendship would never be worth it for a relationship, that may not last. The problem and only word that bothered this guy till todae was the word maybe. He hated himself for backing out on the unknown. To let another guy come in between them and taking away a person he loved, or love. Just because of "if" or "maybe", it hurts him now till whenever she is not happy. Silly, he says to himself. A silly guy, leading a silly life.

He soon reached home and he stared at his own door. He entered his own house and he knew she was not back yet. He lay on the bed thinking what a big fool he was, trying to figure out how more "fortunate" he was when he decided to take the different path. Till todae he still dunoe what he won. A pretty and sweet wife most would say. But to him, it was an empty house. An empty house...

A crazy story conjured, the wind has stopped. Time to go bathed and have dinner. Haha what a life.
Saturday, September 03, 2005
Went to Chimes to hve dinner, treated by my big boss, ate a lot, drank a lot. It was quite a fun occasion, laughing all the way. Though some parts through the dinner, there are times where you really have to hold back and not be too overboard, it was really still pretty fun. Having meals with your boss aint as relaxed as your good friends, but surprisingly it was still well, quite good. Haha perhaps except the part where he keep pushing you to drink and you couldn't say no. The wait to the dinner was extremely horrible as we were stuck in the traffic and we took 1 hour to reach there from tampinese. We could have reach boon lay in that time.

I am more a less settled down in my work and real glad its a nice place to work afterall. Even when I was told by a friend that he got a lobang at Credit Suisse perm job, i wasn't really that keen and I dind't jump at that opportunity. No doubt pay and prospect weights alot in a job, to me, happinese is all important. No point you earn big bucks and you don't have a life to spend it. Being happy in your work and having nice colleagues and bosses are very important as you will be seeing them more every day than your family and galfriend. No doubt mine is just on contract, I am happy.

Also though I know my Xiao Hui cant see this blog, I still wana say I miss her a lot this few days as I didnt have time to even go online and say hi to her. Writing this down here will let me remember on this day, I did miss her alot alot....
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Todae indeed is a very happy dae. I got my degree cert, finally.... Its been quite a wonderful experience for the past 3 years. Met up with Jings, Gis and my buddy. The old gang from Clementi, and memories came flowing back. We had such a great time, just sitting there and chatting. those were the daes. Haha I also had to argue with Gis coz our anniversay with our respective partners are the same! In our memory we didnt got together on the same dae, but we have been celebrating it together! Hahah such a funny incident. Haha at least I got to prove mine was really 22nd Nov. As for hers, I think she got together after the clock struck 12 on 21st NOv.
All these don't matter. The most important thing is all of us are very happy today. For the first time in a long time, we can talk bout anything and everything, with politics and PR, finally aside. Life after work sure is great!
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Todae I went to Marina and watch the last of the fireworks festivals, eating at my favourite restaurant overseeing the fireworks, simply one of the greatest joys you can get in life. Seeing beautiful fireworks, however distance, however small is alway beautiful. The fact that you don't see it everydae and it only lasts a while makes it even more beautiful. Being a person who used to enjoy only long everlasting peaceful scenery, I am learning how to enjoy beautiful things while it last. Another thing was I also saw Jeff there. Alway nice to see a friend you know, especially the ever smiling Jeff.

However during the dinner, I learned that one of my colleague is leaving the bank. I din know what to feel, or whats the reason behing her leaving the bank. Did she left on her own accord? What personal reasons did she had for leaving? If she found a better job, I am happy for her. Though the time we got to know each other were only 2-3 weeks, we did share alot in common to be nice friends and I am glad I am the first person she tell other then my boss. I guess as times goes by, I will learn to accept that your colleagues changes over time, expecially in a stressful and demanding place like mine. Who knows I might even be the one leaving, but I sincerely hope not. I wish my friend all the best, also quietly wishing myself all the best. Things will never be the same anymore...
Saturday, August 13, 2005
How good can a smart guy be, or how smart can a good guy be? What is the definition of a good guy? A lot of us do charity or volunteer work, alot of us help our friends at all cost, but r we really good people? Being a nice and good person, there is alway plenty of chance where people will take advantage of you and you, even knowing it will be smiling and say its ok. So in that sense, how can this person be label smart if he let people take advantage of him? Most of us do things for a reason, like some people donate because they want they name to be publicised. Companies organised charity events to promote themseleves. Some donate to take part in lucky draw. Some help others because they want to be labeled as a good person, or just to feel good? Me? I don't know why I do nice things. I just feel like doing it at that point of time. But then again I ask myself why I don't continue in my volunteering service now? Just because its not as meaningful as I thought it would be? SO did I started joining coz I thought it would be meaningful and enriching to my life? I do not know, and I hopefully hope not. Of coz to those of us who at least do kind stuff(better than those who do not and go around taking advantage of others), I guess we are pretty nice people, but not to the level of being a saint, coz being uni graduates, I somehow feel its beyond our nature to be taken too much advantage by others. When the good and bad equation dun seem to match for us anymore, I guess we stop being nice. To friends we seem to have super high tolerence, to enemies we simply have none. Luckily nice people dun have much enemies.
A president needs to be charismatic, nice, and represent Singapore. In other words, his records must be flawless, and almost a saint. But sometimes when you suddenly come out to jog in East coast park and shaking peoples hands, talking to people and expressing his ability to speak chinese, you feel things are not right. Being a smart person, he sure knows when to do "good" things when needed. Yet a president need to be a smart person and a good person. Which really makes it hard for a person to make both ends meet, especially when he is being paid "peanuts".
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Todae is National Dae, a dae where we celebrate our love for our country. I may not be a super fan of our country, but I do love my Singapore. the government did certain things like CPF and compulsory NS for guys, but all these helped us in the long run and increased stability for our economy. Its kinda like when our parents did certain things that is for our good and we don't understand. I am also amazed how we turned from a fishing village to become a flashing bright red dot on the map todae. One message I got from NDP is that we should look forward, the future's for us to make. Now, I am starting to make my future. Hope it will be a bright one. I love Singapore.

Typhoon went to Shanghai recently, and I was kinda worried for my girlfriend there. But thank god she's alrite and I heard its going to Beijing now? Hope it won't pose to much of a problem to my other friends over there.
Monday, August 01, 2005
Its been a long long time since I wrote, so I decided to give my blog a new look too. Kinda sick of the old things liao.

Latest update to my life.
My girlfriend in Shanghai for GIP (I miss her alot, especially after speaking to her for 45 mins.) Irony isnt it?
I got my job in the other end of Singapore (but i think i really like this job, all is good at the moment).

Read Angie's blog and she wrote this phrase which reminded me of what I always used to say, Ignorance is BLiss. To a large extent, this is true. Sometimes its really much better to not know something at all. Knowing more may lead you to trouble sometimes, or well, at least makes others hate or dislike you? Regardless, I think one should alway try to lead a happy life, the basic and all important goal in life. I mean no matter what our goals in life are, regardless it being love, money, or any other things; all roads leads to Rome, all goals lead to happiness. So let all of us be happy, stay happy. Easier said than done, I hope I will remember this sentence in the coming week as I face more stress and longer hours at work.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Tomorrow is my convocation dae, and I am not very excited bout it. SO do a lot of my friends. I wonder whether its the stress that we still havent found our jobs or the stress from our jobs that makes the occasion seems dull. Or simply the fact that BIZ convo is at night so the mood is a bit down, when the sky is dark, no good pictures can be taken. Or perhaps is that other than my biz frens, my ECA frens cant make it there? Or is it coz many parents will be there so we cant be crazy bout it. Or more importantly is it because my girlfriend cant be there tomorrow. Last but least, I guess its because the fact that I didnt really work very hard for this degree. Everydae in Uni was like more of an enjoyment for me than torture. Almost every sem break was like the end of studies for me. When it comes to this type of occasions, I can hardly lift up my mood. I forgot my mood on ORD liao, was it like this? Anyway I guess the thought that this may really be the end of many friendships forged in NTU that makes everything dull. And the thought that what awaits me in the future may be worse, or should I say will be worse than the period of what I am going to celebrate bout the end of it. A period worth remembering and embracing.
Sunday, July 10, 2005
The first contact from overseas,
I am very happy and excited. Came from sms, which is very unexpected.

The second contact from overseas,
I am surprised she found interenet connection to reply my email.

The third contact from overseas,
It came in the form of late night MSN. Hard to type out "I gtg, gd nite"

These few days, there were ups and downs, but the waiting was worth it in the end. Though you will not see this, thanks for everything dear. Thank you.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
All the time I held you in my arms,
I had the whole world right there.
There you were,
comforting me with all of your charms.

Every little kiss from you
was like a dream come true.
This love that I have inside my heart,
it all belonged to you!

It's funny, all those little things
I never thought I'd miss,
Like all those conversations we had,
or the first time we kissed.

I guess that what I'm trying to say,
is I miss and love you more each day!
It hurts me not to see you,
or not to know if you're ok.

I want you to understand
that I loved you from the start.
And I want you to know,
no matter how many miles
we may be apart,
you'll always hold a special place
in my heart.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Haha its been a long time since i wrote here. Been iddling around, will not entirely. Been thinking alot lately, I am a thinker, a persons who think things. Thats a job isnt it?

Life is like a pack of cards, the cards you get don't come in straights. You never know when the card you are holding is Ace or number 6 or 2. When you do know, you will not know what cards come after next. You also don't know what if the card you are getting may be the biggest, so fearing you might lose out to others, you decide to take another draw.

Earlier on looking for jobs, I was pretty lucky and I kept drawing 10s, Jacks or Queens. But I somehow got greedy or felt I could get better cards. At last I did drew the King and I banked on my hopes on it but lost the bet coz the other party held an Ace. From then on, my luck just aint there and I kept drawing 2s and 3s, worse of all, sometime i drew "skip a turn" and daes goes by without me able to draw a card.

Life is full of ups and downs. I also learn to take any opportunity that comes along, and as long its good enough, take it. Every number has its use, every number has its dae. For sometimes, the no. 2 can become the most powerful card in other games. HAha.
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Its been a long long time since I read my friends blog and I found real nice entries in them. People have been debating the new phenomenon of blogging, about invading privacy and such but I believe its really a nice thing. I am glad many of my friends do blog and allow me to know of their recent happenings.

Yes, I somehow found my strength to move on once again and I guess despite failures, one can alway seize the opportunity to learn from it. Not neccessary means you made a mistake, thats why you fail. Its more like learning to accept failure and reality helps a person to really move on. And i really appreciate those around me, always pulling me along, giving me encouragment. With new found energy, the search continues...
Thursday, June 02, 2005
At this moment, I cant seem to get to sleep. I din do well in my interview todae, and there is no need for consoling for I knew how well I fared. But I still appreciate a lot to those who spoke kind words, compared to my father who, well never mind.

The important thing I did learn was I dunoe how to sell. Selling is not as simple as able to talk well, and illustrating all the benefits of the products that we have been thought so far. I can talk, but I can't sell. It is finding out what are the customer's needs, the customer's soft spots and from there find a way to attack these soft spots, in an attempt to convince and persuade them to be your sales targets. Rather than ramble about the shopping discounts they will get, maybe I should have asked if they like shopping in the first place. Whatever the excuse was, I din perform todae. What happened todae really gave me a chance to rethink about what I really want and what I can do. Yes.. I have thought bout this countless times, its not that I am indecisive, I am starting to lose my direction. I tried my best to convince myself, only to have someone tell me I am not suitable to be what I convince myself to be. Something which I thought I could do all along, I can't do it at all. Even if I am willing to learn, will any organiztion give you the chance to learn and pay you at the same time? I alway knew selling wasn't easy, but I really want to master that skill. But pragmatism sank in, they dun give you the chance to learn in this fast pace corporate world. I really wish to have the chance to learn how to sell.

Anyway I am really glad that somehow people I dun know are reading my blog. Mr sniff, thank you for posting a comment. I am really happy that I exist in one more person's world.
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Its been sometime since I added a post here. Life have been pretty boring, and I wish I can find a job and start work real soon. Din expect slacking around at home can be so boring. I guess 3 months down the road I will be complaining how a busy life I will be leading. I can never be satisfied, just like all other humans are I guess.

Glad Angeline organized a gathering for the BnF people to meet up and it was really nice to see everyone again. Its been really long since I met my RSPHI friends and kinda miss those times together.they seem to be more busy and its really hard to meet up with all of them. I must admit I am a bit lazy to initate a gathering nowadaes, for I used to be so actively doing it last time. Guess coordinating with so many people is no easy task even in this boring life of mine. Hahah plain lazy, no excuse at all.

Going to my next round of interview later. Wish myself luck here. Hope I will be happy enough to announce I got the job in a few weeks time. HAahha I really hope....
Thursday, May 26, 2005
What a match, what a come back! After the first half, I thought everything was gone. The whole world must have thought so too. But Liverpool are Kings of Europe once again after claiming the trophy for a fifth time with a dramatic penalty shoot-out victory over AC Milan yesterdae night.

On what will go down as THE most incredible night, the Reds amazingly fought back from a 3-0 half-time deficit and won the on penalties. Jerzy Dudek was the hero, saving the decisive spot-kick from Andriy Shevchenko, but every player in Red was a hero on an unforgettable occasion in Istanbul. A first minute goal from Paolo Maldini and a double strike from Hernan Crespo just before the break looked to have left the Reds' hopes of Champions League glory seemingly in tatters before an amazing fightback saw them draw level.

It was captain Steven Gerrard who got the comeback underway with a glancing header on 54 minutes. At the time it seemed nothing but a mere consolation but when Vladimir Smicer, in his last game for the club, then fired a long-range effort past Dida two minutes later belief and hope rung around the ground. In the 59th minute Gerrard was brought down in the box and from the resultant spot-kick it was 3-3. Alonso's first effort was saved by the diving Dida but he gloriously made no mistake with the rebound to spark ecstatic scenes among the travelling Liverpool fans. The most miraculous of comebacks saw the Reds send this dramatic match into extra-time. There was to be no further scoring, although Liverpool had Jerzy Dudek to thank for a stunning double late save to deny Shevchenko, and for the second time a European Cup Final involving Liverpool was to be settled by the lottery of a penalty shoot-out. Hamann, Cisse and Smicer scored, Riise's effort was saved but Serginho blazed over and Dudek saved from Pirlo and Shevchenko to win the cup for Liverpool.

After supporting Liverpool for 10 years, This is one of the proudest moments I ever had. One thing for sure, Liverpool have taught me nothing is impossible, as long as you believe! reds, you are the best!
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Look into the eyes of the enemy without fear,
Speak the truth, even if it may leads you to death.

Kingdom of Heaven was pretty a nice show, and this 2 verse struck me deeply. I should look into the eyes of th interviewer bravely, and always speak the truth. HAhah sometimes its quite hard to stick fast right to the truth. For it not only lead to the death of the interview, it leads you jobless. I was so dissapointed with DBS yesterdae, and like many popular tales bout them, yes, officially they SUX. Their HR department is in a mess, the interviwers don't know how to ask questions, and they pursue meaningless and trivial questions like have I applied for other banks. I mean of coz I did, who in the world would apply for DBS and be satisfied. Can't they be more magnimous and admit they are just not as good as foreign banks? A bunch of old people, thats what they are. They asked questions rudely, and I guess I just didn't want to fare well in this interview in the first place. They have no need for talented people, just a person with the quta hitting every month. They don't care if their employee cheat or steal to get the sales, and that to me sounds like an insurance agent. Not all insurance agents, a lousy one that is. Whatever the case, there's no loss for me.

Anyway the movie really reinforced my thinking that god lives in our hearts and minds. Previously I always thought god lives in our indivdual hearts, and everyone gods is equal. It is your faith that keeps it strong, to protect it. Believe in yourself, be true to yourself, and everything will be right as planned. Be happy guys, bless yourself.
Sunday, May 15, 2005
"So hows life?" I asked my friend. She said, "Good, eat, sleep, play and watch TV" I replied given a few more daes of such life, life would turn boring. I mean I have been living this kind of life for the past month I suppose. I almost ran out of games to play, shows to watch or simply even books to read at times. Its true its wonderful as I never had time to do so much things before, but ever since living the life of unemployment, things have pretty much changed a lot. I can go to chalet on a weekdae and stay overnight without really worrying bout I have anything to do tomorrow. In fact, it is precisely the "nothing to do tomorrow" that worries me. I got more than a couple interviews, but I turned down so many that I only end up going for 2 of them only. Perhaps I am too picky, maybe I will land myself into trouble soon if i were to be rejected by this HSBC. I met another friend on my way to the interview and she was shocked I am already going to my interview and she has yet to even write out her resume. I was sshocked too, perhaps she was in marketing and banking are simply too kan cheong or kiasu. Come to think of it, only those from accounting, banking and acturia science people out there looking for jobs. Perhaps people are are better with numbers calculated that the probability of finding a job early when you start looking early is much higher. What am i talking bout here. An idiot would have noticed that. I meant to say number people are more kiasu.

As I wait to fill up the test that HSBC are going to send me before I will know I am shortlisted for the second round, I question myslef if all these are ever worth it. 1 hour of interview, quite intense, never had a chance to breathe, followed by 2 hr of online test, hardly any time to think. I will be given a chance to enter the next round. If not all efforts are wasted, not to mention the resumes tailored to suit the company and the read up of the company. Even if I went to the next round, would I scrap through it as well? If not, I guess it would be another 1 hr wasted as well? Expereince of interview I would gained, just that I hardly remebered anything she asked, she asked so much that the course I went to was probably useless as what she asked was most probably like 15 questions that din came from the so call 15 standard questions. Such that the only question I could remember was the warm up question, "tell me more about yourself and why you apply for this job?"

But of course, nevertheless, I shan't give up. I mean what choice do I have. This is the last chance and only chance I have before I have to start sending out resumes again. I really hope I don't have to open the folder call "my resumes" again.
Monday, May 09, 2005
I just finished reading over some of my old entries in my old diaries and I realize that there are a lot of things I used to take for granted. It also seems that only after certain things happen and misunderstandings forged that we realize we din cherish or appreciate some things. A lot of things in life we take for granted, like simple moments when I am able to write this entry and eat my breakfast at this time of the dae now. Given one month later, I certainly wun have the luxury to wake up late, read the papers and diaries and have breakfast at this hour. Especially for couples in a relationship, we don’t see each other’s efforts till we lose it. We often forgot that it was the other party’s efforts and some magical stuff that got us together. Its almost human nature for people to continue to ask for more in life and we can never be satisfied. The end product may fall below expectation sometimes but do we often bother to ask the story behind them? A gift may be small or not comparable to others but do we ask the source of it, the heart of doing it, or even the mind that conjure the idea of getting you this gift in the first place. I myself have been guilty of such crimes.

If I have been unappreciative to you at any time, I am sorry, Xiao Hui.
If I am unappreciative to anyone of you, my friends, I am also sorry.

If we must learn to appreciate and cherish what we have, why do we continue to ask for more in life? Why do we ask for so much in a job we do? I remember 2 months ago my ideal salary was 2000. By now my expectation has rose to 2300. I think by the actual time I got my 2300 salary, I must be thinking to myself whether others would be getting 2500? If one can never be satisfied, one can never be happy. If one can never be happy, why even bother to find that perfect job you seek so hard for? When we have the money, we blame the job hours are too long for us to enjoy and spend the salary. When we get a job that pays well and yet squeeze everything from 9 to 5, we blame why the job is so tough and so stressful. It’s starting to be corny right? I am going to laugh at myself the next time I complain bout life and I come back to read this. We people never learn, that’s why people can never be happy. That’s why we have Big Macs now where one char siew bun used to make one ancestors happy. I know this is only one side of the story. There will be activist in the other camp which will cry out loud, “We need to continuously improve our lives, only then we can live happier and better.” I know your stand, I just dun wish to go into it, the endless cycle.

Life is only traveled once,
todae's moment becomes tomorrow's memory.
Enjoy every moment,
because the gift of life is life itself.
Saturday, May 07, 2005
I went late night beverage drinking with 3 friends yesterdae at Holland Village. When we reached there, all the pubs were so packed that we decided to stop by Coffee Bean instead to have a drink. 3 of us drank tea while the birthdae girl drank coffee. Haha it looked quite like a SDU date coz 2 of us guys sits next to 2 girls, and we talked of changing seats after some time because the air con is cold. We took interesting pictures of the tea and now I am too lazy to post them up, maybe next time. We drank strange tea, or rather to me…. One contains rosebuds, the other strawberry and finally I would add the disgusting peach. Peach is usually nice in most occasion, and the name “Peach Garden” suggest a nice tea. But just like Forest Gump said, “you never know what you gonna get.”

People are like teabags. You have to put them into hot water before you can know how strong they are.

I used to love to drink coffee a lot, but I have grown over the years to have an inclination towards hot tea, and cold coffee. Hot tea seems to give you that scent of aroma that will lift your spirits. It often leaves you feeling refreshed, rather than the ability to keep you artificially awake by coffee. But then again I really dun have much bias against coffee, I drink both as well. But just that the next time I am asked coffee, tea or me, I will still reply just tea, not coffee nor me….

A Cup Of Tea

When the world is all at odds
And the mind is all at sea
Then cease the useless tedium
And brew a cup of tea.
There is magic in its' fragrance,
There is solace in its' taste;
And the laden moments vanishSomehow into space.
And the world becomes a lovely thing!
There's beauty as you'll see;
All because you briefly stopped
To brew a cup of tea.
Thursday, May 05, 2005
I went to this talk yesterdae regarding how to score in an interview using NLP technology. Wasn't particularly useful, except for some useful tips like to tell yourself "you can, you must or you will succeed" rather than "You try, you wish or you hope to succeed". Another thing we learn is to find out whether a person is lying or not by the actions he does. After the lesson, I realize something else myself, that finding a job is like finding new love.

When you look out for a job, you have some ideals in mind, just like some qualities when looking out for a girl that you may like. But maybe as time goes by you realize you set your goals to high, your requirements start to drop and of course as you get older and you still dun have a stable job/relationship, you most probably take anyone or anything that comes by. People talk about being with the girl you really love; people also talk about finding the job you really love. Some of us feels that it’s not easy to find someone you really love, so they settle for something else lesser. They all think that love can be nurtured, and they will grow to love someone, just as they will grow to love a job they dun like in the first place. Finding someone you really love can be tiring as you put in your best to make sure she don't leave you, same applies to a job you love very much. Can everyone really find a job they love? The answer probably lies in can everyone find true love? What is true love? Then may I ask what is true job suitable for you? A lot of us think we really know the answer, but I think we won't know. It’s only till the dae your boss sack you and you cry because you love the job so much, and not because you wun have a salary anymore. Only when you can tell your boss you will work for him/her for free. Then that’s probably true job eh? Just like you can’t bear to break up with someone coz you cannot live without her and not rather you miss those good times you had. Even then, is that true love?

When we go for interviews, we want to impress the interviewer. When we go for first dates, we want to impress the girl. We might even say things that are not true; sometimes the interviewer might say things that are not true if they are desperate. Haha but the chance of that is pretty slim. So when we are offered a job, if it’s a job we love, we will be happy. When it’s not a job you really like, you will take a little time to consider and in the end they always say, "You never try, you never know". Who knows you might like the job.

That’s true to a certain extend, just that you know some jobs you will never grow to love, so why bother to try? Problem is you have been single/ jobless for so long, any girl and any job is worth a try. Of course some jobs you will never apply, those that you apply for are those you think you may grow to love them, or they have external factors like she's rich, she's beautiful, she's popular etc. Just like a job that pays well, have a nice building, good reputation etc.

Haha finding a new job while you already have one and letting your boss know, you are probably getting a boot from her. Same applies to a relationship. Thinking about another job while you have one wun make you a good employee, or a good lover. Juggling between two jobs will exhaust you, dun ever even try to think of juggling between two women, they will kill you. Haha its seems as I go on and on, there seems to be so many similarities between jobs and relationships.

At the end of the dae, all I want to say is all those out there, whether you are looking for love or job, dun despair, dun give up! For those experiencing hiccups in their jobs or relationship, hang in there! The sun may not always shine, but when the rain dies out, and the clouds go away, we await for not the sun, but the rainbow. Whatever the case, look at not the misery, but the beauty that remains.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
It's a proud night for Liverpool after Luis Garcia's first half goal gave us victory over Chelsea and we marched towards the European Champions Cup Final. The Reds had to defend resolutely after Garcia's early strike gave them the edge, but Chelsea's Premiership winning bubble was well and truly burst on an emotionally charged night at Anfield. I am so happy that Chelsea are finally gone! Let us enjoy a great night's celebration before we tune in tonight to check out if the final is against AC Milan or PSV Eindhoven.

The sheer velocity of the home support spurred Liverpool into a coat-throat opening that brought them the crucial goal. Only 3 minutes had passed when Gerrard's flick sent Baros surging clear. He appeared to be brought down by Cech as he prodded the ball past him, but cries for a penalty were quickly replaced by screams of joy as Luis Garcia raced in to put the ball in the Kop net. Garcia's goal was the only notable goal action in a first half that saw Chelsea push Liverpool back, but fail to trouble Jerzy Dudek.

As expected the second half was a nervy affair. But the Liverpool defence and goalkeeper refused to give way to Chelsea's wave after wave of attacks. Dudek needed to be at his best on 67 minutes to make a smart save from Lampard. But for the most part he was excellently protected by a backline marshalled superbly by Carragher and Hyypia. For all the Chelsea pressure though Liverpool showed they still had an attacking threat of their own and Cisse almost made the game safe with a header that Cech was forced to save. He had an even better chance in stoppage time, and it created a nail bitting moment in the dying minutes where Chelsea nearly scored. But in the end it didn't matter and it will be Liverpool and not Chelsea who will carry the hopes of England into the final.

Well done Liverpool, especially Carragher and Hyypia, the forgotten heroes in defense!
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Haha I have some good news for myself and some bad news for myself. First of all, for the first time in my life I managed to reformat my computer without a hitch and I am proud of myself. The process was long and at the end of the dae, to see my computer running faster without lagging and alongside my liverpool draw at stanford bridge, I would say its a happy night. All I expected them of is to draw and I would have been happy enough. Thank god now they did and we have a chance against the so call unbeatable Chelsea in the second leg when they come to Anfield. Now I can come back online, which explains my dissapearance from the online world.

Ok the bad news to me was as I don't have a burner, all my files and songs were gone with the reformat. Well I guess its about time coz my friend said he reformat his computer once a year and for me its the first time in 3 years. Maybe I should start planning getting a cd burner, but what the heck. Now I plan to keep my computer simple and error free. Haaha as if I could. Well it was a good time to change, forcing me to delete the songs which most of them I dun hear, delete the games which i was sick of but couldnt bear to delete, and everything as such. Sometimes its really hard to let go, especially when its been a long time and feelings grow. HAhah just like I will not do spring cleaning and throw my stuff every year if I could. Oh yah, xabi alonso will miss the next match, I wonder if we will do well against Chelsea. I guess the whole world will lend liverpool the strength as we all hate chelsea. Don,t we?
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Well todae is the official dae where I finally end my enitre school life. No more exams, no more school. TO alot this may sounds really good, at least to those still studying. BUT let me tell you, I am not that happy. First of all, my last paper todae kinda sux. But since that is over, I shall not talk about it. Secondly, I am now offically unemployed, or should I say self employed like my friend angie claimed. Hahah. Anyway more importantly, no more 3 dae week, no more going to school and work for 2 hours or waking up late. No more presentations that you can screw up, or no more lessons where you can sleep. No more daes where you can choose not to go to work when you feel like it, or when you wake up to a rainy dae that feels so good to sleep. No more long school holidaes for you, simply no more of slack things. Being a slack student, School life was indeed very fun for me. No such things call pressure, no such things called tough or tiring. Well time to say good bye to such a good life, and on to a life we we pursue money! Haha.
I guess I will wake up tomorrow not knowing what to do, with no objective. I think I need to clearly understand about what my future lies for me....
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Liverpool have deservedly clinched a place in the last four of the Champions League after heroically holding Juventus to a goalless draw on a memorable night in Turin.

In a game of nail-biting tension the Reds produced an impressively disciplined performance to shut out their hosts and preserve their 2-1 first leg advantage. At times it was backs to the wall stuff but Rafa's men passed the ball with precision and defended resolutely to set up a mouth-watering semi-final clash with Chelsea.

In a first half of few goalscoring opportunities the best chance fell to Zlatan Ibrahimovic after just eight minutes but thankfully he fired over from a central position six-yards from goal. When in possession Liverpool looked comfortable all night and after going in at the interval with their heads held high they came out after the break and almost snatched the lead through Baros. Latching on to a perfectly threaded through ball from Alonso the Czech striker got goal side of the Juve defence but with only the keeper to beat agonisingly rolled his shot wide of the post. At the opposite end Dudek saved superbly from an Emerson header, with was the home sides first effort on target. As the minutes ticked by the nerves became more and more frayed and Liverpool survived a major scare when Traore headed against his own post following a Juventus free-kick.

It was not all one way traffic though and with Cisse completing his amazing recovery from a broken leg by replacing Baros late in the second half the Reds continued to pose a threat on the counter-attack. Biscan headed over with seven minutes remaining but in the end it didn't matter. At the opposite end Juve couldn't find the key to unlock the Liverpool defence and the long-awaited final whistle was the signal for ecstatic scenes among the players and travelling fans.

This was an occasion to rank alongside any in this club's illustrious European history and every player in a red shirt deserves credit for the part they played in it.

Well done lads!
Saturday, April 09, 2005
Woah.. Yesterdae I had a very eventful dae. I met a sister nun from Philippines and I help her get around in NIE. Haha it was kinda nice to interact with someone from another country always. Maybe she will bless me for this exam which I din study much hoh?

Another great thing that happen was the BnF gathering. Haha personally for me it’s the first time I went on such a big gathering out to town, having dinner and such. There was about 15 of us and its such an enjoyable night. Haha all of us din even care about the exams that are drawing near, and if any other people hears this, they must be thinking NBS students are really very slackers or relax people. Exam time still can go out! Hahaha was also shocked to see two of us getting attached and it really came as a surprise to us. Come to think of it, most of us yeaterdae present are already attached liao. Eleven out of fifteen, not a bad percentage afterall. I believe soon all of us will be attached by the next gathering? We ate at Swensen and as usual I was disappointed by them. The portion was so small that Joel, Weilun, Angeline and I have to share another earthquake. Haha but the earthquake was very nice. Haha when it comes to the billing part, its interesting to notice how 15 banking students have problems counting such a small amount of money. Weilun say it because we are used to count millions of dollars. How true…

And we played very interesting games (which I mnever learn b4) while drinking at this nice place, though a bit squeezy. Hahah then I realize WeiLun gets drunk very easily and it was fun to see Shixing drink so much beside me. Those big fish small fish and 007 games are quite fun actually, My drink called the Alley Bliss is the nicest sweetest beer I ever had in my entire life! Sad that I have to leave early, but last night…. Truly an enjoyable night!


Wonderful us...


bLack Polo Tee Gang


The earthquake gang
Thursday, April 07, 2005
Todae I had my last lesson of my life, it went pretty normal; was expecting more emotions. Afterall it does signify a big step into the great unknown. My last school presentation went ok. And I am glad it left a g good memory behind about my presentation life in school. Well as i take a step into the big unknown, its get a bit daunting... Wonder how i will feel when I take my last exam in NTU. Happy? Relief? Haha normal I guess....
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Haha I am in such a good mood todae as I woke up to watch one of Liverpool’s best first half performances (2nd half was a bit disappointing). Nevertheless, I am happy that we got a slender lead over Juventus, a team I respect a lot, in particular its star player Nedved. Hooray Liverpool!

Ok, but I just remembered that my NBS convo is on such a lousy date! Lousy timing as well, imagine 6pm at night! Sigh, a lot of my friends outside NBS won’t be there cause there will be COR. Even my girlfriend won’t be able to attend because she will be in Shanghai for GIP. Kinda disappointed at first because it’s really a dae I have been waiting for and hoping to share with people I care about. Well anyway it will be ok because I understand everyone’s reason. I am sure it will still be a very happy occasion and the ceremony is just a formality. Might wana bring my mp3 player there since I might be sitting beside someone I totally down know while the ceremony is going on. Hope they dun have those sneaky cameras zooming onto people sitting in there shown on big screen. Hahaha.
Sunday, April 03, 2005
My god sis's baby is already 2 months old liao. Time really flies since I was still like so excited over someone born that has some sort of a much closer connection to me since I treat my god sis as my kin.


Baby Giselle

As the exams pull nearer, my mood gets more heavy. But in particular, this sem I am not that worried at all. Went for a stupid Maersk talk and test that dae, felt it was pretty boring. The people there looked as though we owed them money, and makes me wonder if the MISE program is worth it or not? However my invested time was rewarded with occasional laughter at silly jokes and some guy asking them to turn the air con down. We also have another guy running away up the stairs like some kinda of thief. Whats funny is that these are NUS or SMU students, which really question me that are NTU really that unhip? Hahah I think at least we won't do such things. But I have to applaud these 2 gentleman for their "kind guestures" of bringing me joy on a boring afternoon.
Monday, March 28, 2005
I just read my friend's blog, she in now being a temp teacher. I realize all her stories are very heartwarming, and made me feel that teaching can be a very rewarding career as well. Well 3 years ago when I chose to study business in NTU, I practically gave up the notion of being a teacher. I was brainwashed that being a teacher has no prospect, it gets boring in a few years and teachers by todae's standards are no easy task. I acknowledges these facts, but the satisfaction of helping your students pass their exams, solving their family problems and being well liked by them is much more than clinching a deal in financial terms. I really wanted to be a teacher then, always remembered the story of the starfish.

"One young boy was running on the beach and he sees this old man throwing starfishes who were washed up to the shores back into the ocean. THe young boy asked why did he do that. THe old man replied, I am saving their lives, by not letting them dry up. THe young boy then ask again, but how many can you save? There are like thousands of starfishes washed up the shore. THe old man smiled and threw one more back into the ocean, at least it meant a lot to that last starfish."

NOw I used that story to motivate myself in a lot of things. Even certain things may seem small and insignificant, doing it may be paving a way towards future success. Although I gave up a career in education, I wish all the best for future teachers out there and thank you for doing the future a great deed!
Friday, March 25, 2005
A lot of things in this world are uncertain, some of which we wish they did not happen to us. We often ask "what if...." But a lot of things dun give us a second chance to know what if we chose another road instead of the road we took. Life is full of choices, life indeed is uncertain. But we shouldn't worry too much about making the right choices. For sometimes life just works out right for us. Its what they call "chuan dao qiao tou zhi ran zhi" or "shun qi zi ran". Even if the grass might look greener on the other side, it might not be entirely so, maybe it just looks greener, and it isn't so...

如 果

當 我 想 起 你 呵 护 的 記 憶
是 否 離 去 一 切 會 變 得 孤 寂
天 空 放 晴 你 的 影 子 離 我 好 遙 遠
好 运 的 距 離 分 隔 兩 地

时 常 想 起 你 微 笑 的 記 憶
當 你 離 去 我 的 世 界 變 孤 寂
下 起 了 雨 我 的 幸 福 留 在 你 心 裡
希 望 有 人 象 我 愛 你

如 果 不 用 说 再 见
伤 悲 会 不 会 少 一 点
如 果 不 用 睁 开 眼
能 否 在 梦 里 多 一 天
在 这 思 念 的 季 节
我 只能依 然 坚 强 面 对


Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Pursuing your dreams seems to be the most important thing in one’s life. It gives you great satisfaction and nothing else seems to beat it. But sometimes it isn’t that easy to do that, as there are often obstacles in your way. Recently Jia Hui say she wants to go China for GIP for 6 months. I seem to be one of her major obstacle. I thought bout it for a while and I realize its best for her to go, to pursue something she wants. I admire and support her for her courage; I will always be behind her.

On the other hand, I am at the cross road of choosing my career path. The first step is often important, most probably will dictate my final destination. I wana end up as a Private Banker or Investment Banker somedae, if possible that is. So I got to start as an analyst or a personal financial consultant and the way I see it, I stand a higher chance being a PFC. Afterall, it’s easier to pick up a sales skills than technical superiority. Thank you Yoke Chin for making me reignite my interest in sales job. It seems I am quite easily swayed by others opinions. Anyway, the only major drawback seems to be that sales job not that much satisfaction, not really my kind of dream. Well it’s now MONEY Vs DREAMS. What do we do? In reality, I guess sometimes we have to give up dreams, for the sake of money. Haha I guess the only way out is to make money your new dream, your new and only satisfaction in life. If not, you can always try to buy “satisfaction” in the form of presents or holidae packages. On the other hand, dreams cant bring you money. Dreams are only for sleeping, I guess…
Friday, March 18, 2005
I had a pretty enjoyable lesson todae by Peter Tan. Its only his lesson that I dun wana miss coz I really want to learn something, something useful and practical you dun learn in textbook. His lessons also alway makes me laugh and I learn something about "plot ratio" which can help me earn $9 million provided I have $1 million and suitable opportunity. ALso learned interesting facts bout will writing, insurance and estate planning. One conclusion drawn from all these is live as a rich king, die as a poor man. Having a lot of money to distribute when one die can be pretty troublesome. I guess one could be looking down from heaven to see his family either fighting with themselves if your will is not written properly or see your family celebrating when you die. That would probably wana make one die once more. HAha.

Another interesting thing is my good friend Angeline wrote something in her blog about friends being hotels. A lot of times great friendships are torn when one of them got attached. Less time is spent with each other and promises broke. YOu became one of her other friends in what she calls the B-list. When the other party broke up with your friend, he or she comes back to you crying. Your heart melts and you console this poor soul and after recovery, she's gone with the wind with another guy in her arms. Gosh when such situation happens, I hardly would allow her to ever come back to me if she broke up again, at most give her B-class treatment. I on the other hand used to commit these serious offence but I try very hard not to do so nowadaes. Friends and girlfriends are really of almost equal status. Haha but of coz sometimes my orientation gets a bit wrong wired. Needless to say I also have some of my good friends leaving me and putting me on their B-list just because they get attached. I have grown to learn and accepts these facts of life as time nowadaes perhaps just aint enough. With whatever remaining time, who wouldn't want to spend it with their love ones. SO sad that you dun fall into that categories anymore. I have friends that havent been talking to me for months and were good before. I really don't know how to treat them anymore. HAah now that I am on this topics, let me give one word of advice to all. There is not need to cling on to your boy/girlfriends everydae, dae and night. Doing so when only make them wana leave you more. Maybe I should be a love doctor one dae, I wish....
Monday, March 14, 2005
Ok I did a character analysis and its almost to acurate to be true. To a certain extend it does help me to point out certain flaws in me and help me greatly before I am going for my interview tomorrow. Of coz some are true and some are not, I think... well here is the website for those interested.

http://noracom.net/eng/fortune/color_cheki1.php


You are Brown Sheep type, who seem to be well composed and calm.
Your personality is also very gentle and never forgets consideration for others.
But you believe you are the best.
You are a proud person, and only to those that you have become real friends, would you show this side of your personality.
You have a will power and a smart mind to carry out a business from planning to sales to marketing all by yourself. You have a brilliant intuitive ability.
You can use this ability in personal relationships, and effectively induce the other person's psychology.
Even if the other person was insisting on black, you can easily lead him/her into choosing white. It is easy for you to persuade people.You ought to be in an environment where duty and obligation is thought highly of.
You are good at exercising power over someone who respects duty and obligation.
Because your point of observation is rather different from that of ordinary people, you can come up with extremely unique ideas.
Nevertheless you lack decision making and putting into action.
Also because you are an optimistic person, you tend to act as though you have already succeeded, even if you have not yet done so.
You may experience great failure, if you get carried away too much.
You must be very careful.
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Haha I skipped lecture this morning, suppose to do my FYP which is due tomorrow. But I end up surfing the net cause my computer was down and I had to find a solution to save it. As it went fine after a while (I dunoe why...), I went on to surf other websites. Then I realize theres a new tagboard available thanks to JianYong and so I changed mine since doodleboard isnt useable anymore. Then I realize my layout wasn't great and I changed mine to Juneberry's cause it has leaves on the header and it kinda ring to my mango theme. So after doing that I realize I suddenly know how to link my website to others and I went ahead to do that as well. Hahah so one thing lead to another and I have already spent about 1.5hrs doing all these stuff. When it comes to doing something you don't really like, I guess almost everything else besides that seems so enjoyable and easy to do. Something that I always put off is FYP. I started like last June and I am finally handing in my FYP tomorrow. I should have finished my work much earlier, if not for the 3 months break I took in between. So after so much procrastination, I am in the midst of rushing my FYP just like everyone else beside me. Feel much better and more efficient everytime I am in the heat of a rush. Still I take some time off to write my blog right now. Everyone needs a break.

By the way, NTU alumni just called me and updated my particulars. I do feel kinda old nowadaes. Entering into all sorts of alumni and looking for jobs. Another thing is I realize theres no SM presentation for me. Was looking forward to presenting something since we screw up my last presentation for SM. Kinda miss those daes of presenting, wearing super nice clothes and feeling nervous. Was always complaining bout these presentations and yet now I actually miss it. I guess you don't miss something till its gone I guess.

And also I would like to dedicate a word of thanks to my good pal Joan who took time of doing me a great favour. It looks better now all thanks to you!

Haha this is getting to be quite a longer post than usual. Must be prolonging my time from diving into eternal sorrows with my FYP. But can't wait any longer. Time and tide waits for no man. Haha.
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
I realize I learn only 3 important concepts in my whole NTU financial studies. This should help all of you in your future investment or maybe can apply to love as well.

Rule no. 1 states that “Buy low sell high”. Buying at a low price and selling at a high price always, if best arbitrage. You will never make a loss, and with respect to love, Hahah it means give little, take a lot and you will never be hurt.

Rule no. 2 is “There is no free lunch”. Nothing comes free in this world. When a deal seems too good to you, don’t jump straight into it! Evaluate the investment carefully, and of course when it comes to love, don’t jump straight into it just because you are infatuated with that guy! There comes a price for everything, every investment/ guy has a bad point.

Last rule is “Higher risk equal high probability of return” This means if you want higher returns, you need to take part in riskier investments. Same for love, if you want say prettier girlfriends, you stand a higher risk of it being snatch away.

So I guess financial subjects and love are basically the same. No wonder people say business course is easy to study. Hahaa.
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Haha recently I have been reading blogs more than writing ones. Ever since most of my friends start setting up blogs, I realized I spend a lot of time reading them. Previously I had this question of what was I busy in life when I am not studying, not going out and not sleeping. I got my answer. Stonning on the net, reading about other people's lives and views. Its so funny the moment people dun see me online, they know I am studying for my quiz. Am I online that often? Hahaha.

Well reading all the blogs this time round, there seem to be a common ongoing craze, haha name "prediction"? Thanks to our dear Juneberry, she posted this website that can tell character from chinese names. Everyone start posting theirs, but I have nothing to post. Ahaha the website dun have my name. So having to eat sour grapes, I have to think of something bad bout these stuff. HOw accurate are they? Just like horoscopes and stuff, sometimes they do end up predicting the right things. How can the whole world be categorized under a 12 groups? Or when it comes to names, parents can mould their child into whatever they want them to be by giving them good names? I once read somewhere, that these readings usually state things in a very broad way, so as to capture almost every aspect. The moment the reader spots something they think its their personality or to their liking, their mind will quickly take that part out and deregistered all the other bad or untrue things they saw, thus in the process, almost all readings are true and accurate to them. Before all of you really think I am eating sour grapes here, I am a great fan of such games and horoscopes too. HAhah despite having doubts, sometimes it wouldn't hurt to have a little fun and enjoyment in reading such stuffs. So as my parents always tell me, my name suggests I will grow into a WEI da and CHONG ming person.... I really wonder how true....

FOr my other friends who might be reading and curious about the website, here it is:
http://www.just-think-it.com/sbn/chinesef.htm
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Well I had a very fun lesson todae. Guess in my whole NTU life, only todae's lesson can be considered fun. Because We did nothing except guess the rose petals puzzle, riddles and play an interesting game call Financial Quotient. The aim of the game is to make wise investments, with the structure something like monopoly. Haha almost won the games with my huge investment, except for it to be drained away by my stupid children in the game. One big advice, think before you give birth next time. Hahaha.
Another interesting thing is the riddle he gave, "What is more holy than GOd and more evil than the Devil". It is said kindergarden kids know the answer in 5 mins, while only 10% Standford University students managed to get the answer, after 1 hr. I got the answer in 5 mins, so sad to know I still think like a kindergarden kid. Poor me.... Haha.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Well, Vdae is officially over and it was quite an eventful dae afterall. Perhaps the most unforgetable thing about it was us walking on the road for more than 500m, searching for the "famous" McCafe along the West Coast Park. Alas when we reach the supposely to be "nice ambience" cafe, we were dissapointed to see it fully packed with people, at 9pm, comparable to a town's Mac at dinner time. Nevertheless, we all had a great dae with the gifts and such. Hope you like the daisies.

With the Vdae over, now its time for me to share some occupation jokes with you all, especially to accountants and engineers. Hahaha.

Three Accountants
Three accountants were in the urinal performing their morning constitutional.The first accountant finishes and walks over to the sink to wash his hands. Very carefully. He uses paper towel after paper towel and ensures that every single spot of water on his hands is dried. Turning to the other two other accountants, he says "At KPMG, we are trained to be extremely thorough".
The second accountant finishes his task at the urinal and he proceeds to wash his hands. He uses a single paper towel and makes sure that he dries his hands using every available portion of the paper towel. He turns and says "At Ernst & Young, not only are we trained to be extremely thorough but we are also trained to be extremely efficient".
The third accountant finished and walks straight for the door. "At Arthur Andersen, we don't pee on our hands".

The Engineer Joke
There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineer look at each other wondering what could be wrong.The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred.
The chemical engineer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere.
Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion, "Why don't we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it'll work!?"
Monday, February 07, 2005
Hmm... This will be my first post in Feb, and for the past week, things has been going really well for me. I was pretty much in the holidae mood, played alot of games, went out a couple of times and life could'nt be better. Ok well, not that fantastic, but I have grown to learn that as long there is nothing to complain in life, I should be thankful for it already.

I went to try on this ring with Jiahui yesterdae and gosh, I am telling you its no easy task for me. I alway have the ring phobia. When I put it on, I felt as if the whole world's weight is coming onto me. The power of committment, never underestimate it. And no matter what design I choose, it doesn't look nice on me. Hahah the sales girl did had some fun in serving us, in particular seeing how uneasy I felt. In the end we still bought it, and I was really quite happy with the result. The more I look at it, the more I am getting used to it. I think a lot of things needs time, especially round ones.

Lastly, I had a wondeful time at the RSPHI reunion dinner. I had lots of fun, playing bingo and throwing the yu sheng around. Haha tried bonding with the juniors, but alway felt that there is the age gap. Am I really getting that old? I hope not man! Then went to a wonderful place for coffee, but end up having stomachache for that night. I could only slept at 5 am in the morning. Why would I still say nice coffee? The reason is simple, sometimes the activity you do or the place you are at does not matter. Its the people you are with, and to me, I was with some of my best friends that dae. Happy Chinese New Year in advance!

Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Wahh its been pretty some time since I wrote an entry. Nothing spectacular happened in the past week. Except for some inner self fighting bout some issues, life been pretty good. I mean the problem with me is that I am easily influenced by others, and sometimes my actions and decisions are swayed towards their direction. Due to privacy reasons, haha of coz I can't share something as personal as this on this publice web where most of my friends know liao. Besides this inner battles, the problems of jobs is also upsetting. Reality has sunk in that its seriously quite hard to find a job you want in the economy todae and while on one hand I must thank UOB to call me up personally for my own error, I am really dissapointed in most of my job applications. I don't know what to do, and simply too lazy to even send out resumes. All the good banks most probably won't want someone like me. Haah god bless me on this.

Other than this, of course there is the ever present FYP. Faced with a choice between mind and manual labour, our group chose brawns over brains, helping her get 2000 responses and that allows us to stop our FYP in about a week's time i guess. Good choice or not I don't know, we were practically left with no choice cause that seems to be the choice she wants us to take. In life, there appears to be choices. But more often then due to circumstances and other external personel implications, we are left with only one route to take. A choice is no longer a choice, its a path u have to take.

Saturday, January 22, 2005
"When is it your turn?" That is the last question that i expect from my relatives when I attended a wedding dinner yesterdae. Alas, that question shot right into my face I was stunned, not knowing how to answer except smile and say not so soon. I am only 24 my dear relatives. Oh gosh, since when am I the same batch with my cousin who married up there on the stage? Hahah can't believe I am getting so old in other people's eyes. Must go do some facelift, hahah.
By the way the wedding dinner started real late and the hotal at not enough parking lots. My the time they started the dinner or should I say supper at 9pm, my stomach was telling me any food that is served on the table will be nice. It turned out they all were, from the cold plate to the last desert, mango with sago. All was well, the bride was pretty and her other half's hair was white. (He dyed it white)

Ok wedding aside, I am kinda disspointed and angry at myself for giving the wrong email address to UOB forum. NOw I can't join my friends to go to the networking night together. I also lost a potential night where I can get closer to the job. I also probably showed to them I am not a careful person, thus not suitable for a bank job. Have I really no fate with banks? Well its no big deal and life goes on. Hahah. Even when the stars go out each night, I will not. For I am still here. I am all you see.

Thursday, January 20, 2005
Ok! I officially state that I HATE renovations. After deciding to skip my morning semiar, I was punished by being tortured by idiotic renovation noises from upstairs as early as 10am I think. Can't I even sleep late? I plugged myself into my earphones and played games at my computer, trying to salvage how little pleasure and joy I am left with. Immersed with the wonderful story line and music, I was soon lost in the world of swordsman and magic. Little did I noitce that the irritating noise has stopped. I was happy, for a while, and soon thereafter it came back. I looked at the watch, they have gone for lunch just now, which explains the serenity. With the noise back, I thought I might as well go for my lunch. When I got back, it was so much worse! While having my bath, it was deafening. At the last straw, I decided its time to escape to school to study. Yes, even studying is better than being tortured by noise.

So here I am in school, writing this post. Yes, I am not studying again, coz I met Zhi Hai and Darren here. Okok, so I m finally going to open my BF308 in a while, provided no one msg me throgh msn. Hahaha.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ After a few hours in school.....
------------------------------------------------
Todae had a very fun dae. Long time no go arcade play untill so fun liao. Hahah first time playing those basketball shooting game in arcade where those coupons will run out. Hahah in the end with pathetic 12 coupons, we can only change a small but cute sharpener with paperclips. Memories like this dun happen everydae....

Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Ah yes, I should be attending my lecture now, BF308. However this morning, I just couldn't instill much energy into me to propel myself out of bed. I toss and turn, deciding if I should skip my lec. This is in fact the first official lec I purposely skipped, hahah not talking bout the countless AB311 useless lecs that I will be skipping for the rest of the year. In fact I will be skipping my BF221 seminar tomorrow. Oh my god, sounds horrible as I type these out. Unlike Jian yong, I don't feel bad about it. (reading your entry mades me a little though) Why am I like this? This is my last sem and I got no motivation at all. Super holidae mood now. Man, this sem is particularly expensive. Every lecture I miss cost $82.60!!! No wonder the professors earn so much. How I wish I can be one too.

Ok! I will go to school now and read up on the lecture I miss just now! I will aspire to be the best student this sem! Haha how I wish all that I say will come true. I feel that my fingers are more likely to move than my whole body. At the thought of studying, my whole body feels weak, tired, and my eyes will get smaller and smaller. Haha regardless, I will pull myself out of my chair now and off the computer. I will go to school now. Thats the most I can promise myself. Whatever happens next, I can't say. Muahaahahahhaaa.

P/s: By the way, Liverpool lost to burnely! Oh my god, why is my team going the other direction?>


Sunday, January 16, 2005
Life is indeed fragile. We can leave this world any time, given recent events that continues to shock the world. I remebered Zhi Hai post this question to us, how long do we want to live in this world? With Sharrel and Darren saying they want to at least experience working life, and giving birth, I somehow wonder what our life is all about? Just to work hard and make sure our next line of descendants made it through theirs? I believe we should all live a life worth living, doing all the things we want to do, however stupid they might be. This life is about making a difference in others, and more often than not is to show care and love for another person. This love not only means the person you marry, it readily extends to anyone on this planet you wish to love, including people you don't know. I just caught Troy on VCD recently and remember Brad Pitt joined the war because he wants to be remembered by many people even thousand of years later. I don't need to be remembered by so many people, however I do wish I make a difference in other people's lives.

On a lighter note, I saw this funny scene in the MRT. 2 guys and 1 girl came in with only 2 seats left. The girl went to sit immediately, leaving the 2 guys standing. So after much debate, one guy,A, took the chance to sit with the girl while the other,B, sat beside me. So A talked happily with the girl while B was frustrated and only flipped his papers beside me. When I say flip, he literally fipped at 1 second per page. DOubt he can read any news at that rate, Hhaha. Ok so after a few stops, the seat beside the girl got vacant and she booked it and signaled B to go over. From then on she ignored A and only talked to B. So its A's turn to flip the papers fast forward style. Another few stops later, the situation changed. An old man came in and A gave up his seat, from then on, it was the old man talking to the girl all the way. Both A and B can only read papers. Haha its so funny all 4 of them left at the same stop too. Sounds like a mini drama serial.

Thursday, January 13, 2005
Yes its a super boring dae. Well I had my 2nd Wealth managment lesson, so so boring. What a contrast from the first lesson, this second leson is so dry. Really have the urge to drop this subject, if not for the fact that this subject is default B and its a nearer exam date.

People have been telling me how fortunate we business people are with our super slack timetable. It appears that all my lessons ae their free periods and vise versa. TO me, living a slack life have been part and parcel of life for the past 3 yrs. I wonder how will i adjust to working life? Everydae 9 to 5 and no more long holidaes. Man, what a dreaded feeling. Well whats worse is that can I find a job? As i get nearer to my graduation date, my fear of not landing a job really makes me feel that not getting a job = failure. Having paid so much to get the stupid degree, it feels stupid to not even get something as simple as a job which pays only about $2000 everydae. Well time to leave these worries behind and embark on this short holidae I give myself this weekend! Woahhh!

Tuesday, January 11, 2005
It was long long weekend for me. For those in army, having long weekends is good, but for me, not that its not good, its just too eventful. I spend my fridae with my Xiao Hui, coz I have to give her early celebrations for her birthdae. I took keys from her roomate and hid in her room, hanging lots of roses at her windows. Then we went out for a wonderful dinner and after we came back to her hall, I lit up candles in a heartshape and took out a birthdae cake to surprise her. She was totally caught by surprise as she din saw me bought the cake. Haha it was in the fridge all along. Well if the things I planned was good, I din end it well as I forgot to message her happy birthdae at 12 midnight on saturdae. I even got her hint of asking me to do what I should do and I called her asking what should I do. Haha she sounded unhappy and didn't want to tell me and so I went back to sleep, pondering what's wrong. I then suddenly realize what I am suppose to do and I jumped out of bed to call her. Haha so I got a big scolding from her when I finally remembered and I got off the hook by singing her a birthdae song. Hope by writing this down, I won't forget again next year. HAha.

So off to sundae where I was the facilitator for my ECA's Amazing Race. Well we ran around Singapore the whole dae, through rain, mud, sand and sea. Ok no sea, but we were near it. So eventually my team came in 2nd, and all was happy.

Then came mondae where I came back to school, only to realize my class index got swapped by the stupid E-swap system! I was so angry at the school and I emailed them twice in a dae and called up Jenny Goh. SO despite the system of the school still being lousy, I applaud them for their "fast" response in attending to my request by the time I got back from school that dae. They just escaped another round of emails and calls inteded for them the next dae.

Now is Tuesdae, a morning which seems forever. I intended to send out my resume for job apllications. I took 2 hrs just to draft out the perfect resume and on my first attempt to send it, the website hanged and I do not know if my attempt was successful. It totally drained my morale and i do not wish to apply for any other jobs for todae. Little misfortunes are starting to fall on me liao, but that will not deter me from moving on, from tomorrow that is. Todae? I will go on relaxing liao.... Hahahah.

P/S: Meet the Fockers is very funny!


Thursday, January 06, 2005
Todae I had my first wealth management class, was pretty interesting, the tutor called my names so many times. Asked me stupid questions like "how many wives i need?" and "do I have one now?" Hahah. But one thing that she said struck me was "in life, sometimes you are at the wrong place at the wrong time." How true this statement was, because the bus I took this morning broke down in school and I have to walked all the way from canteen 2, up the hill and down to S3. TO made things worse, I purposely ran after this bus to catch it, only to curse my luck for chasing a broken bus. Sometimes in life, what you want in life may not end up to be what you really want.

Well I went by the secret hiding place for our resolution cans and found that the grass there are growing much better than usual. Its in such a bright green colour that I cant help but feel that I have made this world a much better place. Haha. Enough of my nonsense, time to log off liao. Though todae isnt the most perfect of daes, life goes on and may a better tomorrow come!

Monday, January 03, 2005
On the 3rd dae of New Year my angel said to me, "Bless you, hope you have a wonderful year ahead!" Hahah ok it was an imaginary angel, but indeed I had a great start to this brand new year that belongs to me! As mentioned I had a wonderful New Year's eve, and I went to chalet yesterdae! Came back todae and I fixed my timetable to a 4 dae week! Well it ain't something to be proud of, but my previous timetable was much worse and more importantly alot of my friends are joining me in that class, especially my best project groupmate, Angie!

Well nothing else much happened except my best friend Zhihai went to work for the first time todae! Haha he did absoultely nothing as his supervisor went away. Well hope everything go smoothly for him tomorrow! Oh been really keen to buy a new handphone, siemens S65. Anybody heard anythign bad bout it? Haha must tell me ok! Got to close off liao, life's good!

Saturday, January 01, 2005
Haha this is not the first time I am writing a blog, but yet I still have this funny feeling, as if its the first time. Just like love, no matter how many times u been in it, there will alway be this special feeling, for this special someone, everytime. Every new relationship will be a refreshing one, though some of the problems alway seem to recur back to you. Just like as we welcome this new year, we welcome it with open arms, thinking that this year will be better than last year, and yet have this feeling that we will never be able to keep to our resolutions.

I had an eventful New Year's eve this year, as I gathered some of my friends back to school to bury our resoultions cans. We had alcohol in school and everyone of us got a little high. Haha school is fun when there are no classes. Finding a place to bury it is so fun and we are careful to escape the security guards. For national treasure hunters out there, the clue is first drain, first turn, first hole and first armlength. Haha. As to what dreams we burried inside, i guess it will forever remain a secret to you guys who are not there. We felt we did a great job at burying the tin, hoping to dig it out 2.5 yrs later, somewhere in 20/07/2007. Lets give a round of applause to Ocean's 8. Jing Jun, Giselle, Bang Zhong, Chao Liang, Karfai, Evelyn, Zhi Hai and me! Special thanx to Lynn and YiQuan as well!

This new year also made me realized a lot of things. I need to learn how to fight for the things I want, I need to live my life to the fullest. I want to tour around the world which is ever so big. I want to leave behind my sorrows and embrace happiness always. Haha okok, I don't really have much sorrows, but I wana lead a happy life. I no longer seek a simple life, just a happy one. I don't really know how to do that, but i will try.

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